
I have heard that motherhood is the hardest job a woman will ever have. A little over seven years in, I would have to agree. Being a mom is one of the most incredible, exhausting, and often frustrating jobs I have ever had. Parenthood as a whole can be challenging at times. I tend to be a pretty independent person, however, the old saying that it takes a village to raise a child is more true than I ever realized it would be.
My husband and I don’t have family in the town where we live. Because of that, we know firsthand how excessively important having a community around us can be. We are so incredibly thankful for the people in our church and the friends we have made locally and in the surrounding communities.
Even though this message speaks to me as a female, I want to write not just to the women, but to the church as a whole about the vital importance of being a community. I specifically want to talk about being an authentic community. I am at an odd age right now. Over the last several months it has really hit me how much life changes when you move away, get married, and have kids. All of the sudden you become an adult. The funny thing about adults, is that we suddenly feel like we have to have our act together, even when we don’t.
Growing up, so many in the church learn to show themselves in the best light at all times. Appearances and what others perceived about us, or us about them for that matter, are of the utmost importance. Or so we think. What a tough way to live life! Being seen as the “good Christian” and trying to live up to that persona is not only impossible, but also doesn’t allow for the humanness of making mistakes. Judging others for every little action also does not allow for grace and love.
Jesus did not live his life like that. Not even a little bit. He loved people from every walk of life. Everyone from women caught in the act of adultery, to prostitutes, and even a Roman Centurion. Actually, the only group that he seemed to have issue with, were the religious Pharisees. He had a lot of issues with legalism, judgmentalness, and the way those religious people condemned others. In Luke 18:9-14 (NIV) Jesus tells a parable about a pharisee with that exact problem.
9 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
14 “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Wow. If that doesn’t make you feel a little bit convicted, you must not have the issues I do.
Jesus chose to do life with people. So much of His ministry recorded in scripture was done around the meal table. Everyone who was willing was welcome at His table. There were even occasions where Jesus would invite himself over for a meal. In Luke 19 (NLT) we find the story of Zacchaeus.
1Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. 2There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was the chief tax collector in the region, and he had become very rich. 3He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowd. 4So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree beside the road, for Jesus was going to pass that way.
5When Jesus came by, he looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. “Zacchaeus!” he said. “Quick, come down! I must be a guest in your home today.”
6Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. 7But the people were displeased. “He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner,” they grumbled.
8Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood before the Lord and said, “I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have cheated people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!”
9Jesus responded, “Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a true son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”
There is a common thread in these stories; grace and mercy don’t go to the deserving. They go to the humble and the ones who genuinely seek God. The ones who are authentic. Jesus sought those kinds of people out. He hung out with a bunch of guys who were far from perfect. He had genuine conversations with his disciples and followers, and wasn’t angered when they didn’t act like good little Christians all the time.
Recently, the term Authentic Community has been at the forefront of my mind. We all crave that. We all want to be known on a deep and authentic way. We desperately need it in our marriages, and crave it in our friendships.
I am so thankful for the people of my church, specifically the small group we have been involved in for the past 12 years. They have seen the good and bad. When I received the news of being laid off, I cried on the shoulders of the people in that group and they prayed for our future. When we found out our family was expanding (all three times) they rejoiced with us. When we have good days and bad days we have people to laugh and cry with. I miss it on the weeks that we are unable to meet. Everyone needs that. We need to all be that person for someone else.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t by any stretch of the imagination think that we should air our dirty laundry with everyone. But we need to be able to with someone. Just to address the women specifically, we can be the worst about putting up walls that don’t allow for truly vulnerable relationships, especially when we are busy with family responsibilities. At the beginning of creation, God said it is not good for man, or woman for that matter, to be alone.
In Ecclesiastes 4 (NLT) starting in verse 9 it says 9Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
We are built to need each other. We are built to be authentic with each other. One definition for authentic is not false or copied; genuine; real: representing one’s true nature or beliefs; true to oneself or to the person identified. So the question is, how true to ourselves are we in the church community? Do we take the attitude of the Pharisee praying about the tax collector I referenced earlier? Or, do we take the attitude of Jesus himself and love those who aren’t like us and stay true to our beliefs regardless of what crowd we happen to be running in. That can be a real challenge. We want to look put together. We want to be perceived as “on it”. But let’s get real, we are all broken. We are all sinners who desperately need the very grace that we often don’t extend to others. God Himself demands nothing less.
Psalm 51:16-17 (NLT)
16You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
17The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
This particular Psalm is a very interesting one because it was written after the Prophet Nathan confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba. David was truly broken hearted. It couldn’t be more plain than this verse right here. God desires true repentance. I was curious what exactly was meant by a broken spirit.
According to Charles Spurgeon, it is “an expression implying deep sorrow, embittering the very life; it carries in it the idea of all but killing anguish in that region which is so vital as to be the very source of life.” It is beyond sorry. That kind of repentance is the only kind of sacrifice that is acceptable to God. That tells me that us being authentic, even with God, trumps every religious act we could perform. Authenticity should bleed into every part of our lives.
My prayer is that the church would be the safest place for authenticity. Let’s humble ourselves and not be afraid to let our walk be like Jesus, reaching out to people in every walk of life, not out of a sense of duty, but rather because we genuinely care about them. Let us never forget what it says in James 4:6 “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” It is my sincere prayer that that we would all learn to humble ourselves just as Jesus did when he washed the feet of the man who would betray him. That we would become a community like the men and women who received the first baptism of the Holy Spirit and loved each other unconditionally. That we would fight for the best interests of each other and pray unceasingly for each other. That we would lay down judgments and perceptions, and really get to know and love each other. And finally, that we would be able to pray for those who persecute us, and perhaps, wash the very feet of our enemies.