discouraged

What’s is that in your hand?

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The world has gone absolutely mad lately. I have gotten to the point where I don’t even feel like I can have the news on when my girls are in the room because of the mass shootings, riots, gender issues, abortion talk, and everything else that I really don’t feel that they need to be exposed to just yet. It’s heartbreaking to see how much the world has changed just since 2020. Not only is the evil in this world reaching an exponential level, but the amount of depression, anxiety, and general unhappiness of people seems to also be increasing.

Technology has made things so much easier, however, the easier life seems to get, the less fulfilled people seem to be. This is blaringly evident as a public school teacher. I see each year the damage social media does to kids. The comparison mentality, the need to fit in, the absolute desire for something to go “viral”, and the willingness to do just about anything to be a part of the crowd. Now, all of these things (minus the going viral thing) have always existed among humanity, but until recent years, the ability to see other people parade the best parts of their lives 24/7 has not always existed. Sadly, the need to compare ourselves to others tends to keep so many people from fulfilling their God-given calling, in my opinion anyways. If you are chasing a dollar or chasing likes and fame, you may be missing out on the hidden place God may want you to be.

It struck me the other day how often God met with people in the middle of nowhere all throughout scripture. As a matter of fact, I have yet to find the verse stating that we have to be inside a church building to hear from God. Abraham was in his tent when God told him to step outside and look at the stars before promising him descendants (see Genesis 15:5), Jesus was led into the wilderness by the Holy Spirit (see Matthew 4:1), Hagar met with an angel of the Lord in the desert (see Genesis16:7), Elijah was in a cave hiding when God sought him out (see 1 Kings 19), and Moses was spoken to out of a burning bush in the middle of nowhere when he was tending sheep. As far as I can tell, God likes to meet with us in the places where there are no distractions. That isn’t to say He can’t speak to us in the middle of a crowd, He definitely can, but there are some really tremendous encounters that we may be missing out on if we always allow ourselves to be distracted.

I love what God does with Moses in Exodus 4. At this point, God has told him that he will go back to Egypt to set free the Israelites. Moses proceeds to argue with God about how he is not the right man for the job and God does something incredible. He says to Moses starting in verse 2, “What is that in your hand?”, referring to his shepherd’s staff. He used the very tools of the trade for Moses to perform a miracle (hint: it turns into a snake). I think that little story is maybe something cute that we have colored a picture of or saw it flannel graphed in children’s church, but maybe we are missing a little something from the story. Moses wasn’t a preacher, he was a shepherd (also a murderous fugitive if you recall). God doesn’t require all of us to go to seminary to do great things for Him. He will use the tools of our trade, just like the staff of Moses, to accomplish His will. As a teacher, I try to keep this in mind. It doesn’t matter if I am not teaching Biblical studies, He can use a math or science lesson or simply a conversation with a student to speak His truths. The same is true of any job. Maybe you feeling alone in your job or position, is exactly the wilderness that God needs to have you in so that he can reveal His truths to you.

So, let me ask you the same question God asked Moses, “What is that in your hand?”

Maybe an even more important follow-up question: What will you use it for?

What the Enemy Meant for Evil

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There is a song by Elevation Worship that has been a go-to for me for the last few months. It is called See a Victory (you can listen here). It is based on 1 Corinthians 15:57 “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” The first verse says “The weapon may be formed, but it won’t prosper. When the darkness falls, it won’t prevail. ‘Cause the God I serve knows only how to triumph. My God will never fail.” The bridge goes on to say “You take what the enemy meant for evil, and turn it for good”.

I absolutely love that!

I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t felt the attack of the enemy from time to time. Sometimes the attack is in overt ways, other times those attacks come out of the blue. They can be from perfect strangers, or people you trust the most. It always hurts the most when it comes from someone you know and trust. However, we live in a fallen world, sometimes the enemy even uses people we love to hurt us. Sadly no one is immune from the attacks of the enemy, and he always seems to strike where we are weak or vulnerable.

However, we can take heart, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” Romans 8:28. I can attest to the truth of that through some of what I have experienced. Closed doors always lead to new, open doors. But when you are in the heart of the battle, that is a tough truth to hold onto. I know that I often find myself pulled into discouragement, fear, or even depression when I am still going through the “thing” even if I know that God will work it out for good. Like the song says, You take what the enemy meant for evil, and turn it for good. I believe that, but Lord, I need help with my unbelief. Take what the enemy meant for evil, and turn it for good for all those who need a victory!

For Such a Time as This

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I truly believe that God places us exactly where He wants us for a specific reason. That being said, it is not always easy to act like I believe that. It’s incredibly easy to get pulled into the muck. It’s socially acceptable to gripe, complain, and belly ache about every little thing that doesn’t go my way. I hate that. I want to be the person who enjoys the moments on the way to the destination.

As I look back though my past, I can see the fingerprints of God all over the difficult times in my life. I know the value of having worked for an employer who was not a person of integrity, it makes me want to be a person of integrity all the more. I now realize how valuable the struggles of being overlooked for a job, because I now realize that would not have been a good fit for me plus it taught me how to have a good work ethic. I get why, in my first couple of years of teaching, my opinion wasn’t really listened to (because honestly I was mostly wrong and didn’t have the knowledge yet to even have an opinion on many things). I get all of that. I am thankful for every twist and turn that my life has taken to lead me to where I am at today.

That sounds great, but I still can’t manage to think that way while I am in the middle of a frustration. It’s especially true when I feel like I am being wronged, whether by a stranger or a friend. In my innocent little world, everyone needs to just assume the best about my intentions, needs to be kind to each other, and shouldn’t make up lies. Unfortunately, that isn’t how the world works.

We can take heart though.

I was recently re-reading one of my favorite Bible stories about a young woman, through no fault of her own, was ripped out of her home and found herself married to a king (one of many wives I might add). I am referring to Esther, of course. Now, as amazing as it sounds to be married to the king, for her it meant hiding who she really was (a Jew) and having to seek permission to come have a conversation with her husband. Not exactly ideal if you ask me. If you know the story you know that because of the fact she was in the palace, she was able to help save the Jewish people who were scheduled to be wiped out. If you don’t know the story make sure to check out the book of Esther, it is a pretty quick read. One of my all time favorite parts of that story is a line by her uncle Mordecai, “Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 NLT.

So I say to you, who knows if perhaps you weren’t __________________ for such a time as this. Fill in that blank with whatever difficult thing you are dealing with. Who knows, maybe the situation you are in at this very moment, is exactly what you need to accomplish the next thing God has slated for you?

Build a Monument

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Ancient Israelites didn’t always do everything right (remember that whole 40 years they took to make an 11 day journey thing). However, one thing they did do over and over very well was to remember and celebrate what God had done for them. Throughout the pages of scripture, there are feasts and celebrations to commemorate various things that God had done for His people. I love the idea of feasts, but there is something that was done that I love even more.

Time and time again, whenever the Israelites had overcome something because of God’s divine help, they would often build a monument or a memorial to always remember what had occurred and how God had helped them. When the Israelites crossed into the promised land, the first thing they did was get 12 stones to represent the 12 tribes and build a monument to remember what God had done for them (see Joshua 4). There are numerous other instances throughout scripture of people building a monument at a place where they had seen God do a miraculous thing. Jacob put up a stone monument on several occasions in Genesis. Now, these monuments weren’t necessarily huge or elaborate as we may imagine when we think of modern-day monuments in our world. No, often these would be simple and made of a stone or several stones that were placed in strategic places to remind the people who were doing it of the miraculous work God had done in their lives.

My favorite mention of a stone monument is the concept of an Ebenezer stone in 1 Samuel, right after the Lord had helped rescue the Israelites from the Philistines. “Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!” 1 Samuel 7:12 NLT. I love that concept! I think we all need a few Ebenezer stones of help in our life to help us to see how “up to this point the Lord has helped us”.

I just recently crossed the 12 year anniversary of a life-changing time in my life where I lost a job and found myself in the middle of many course corrections that have led me where I am today (if you don’t know the story you can read about it in some of my older blogs or in my book here). As I thought back to where I was and where I am now, this concept of an Ebenezer stone came to my mind. My Ebenezer is not a stone monument I built, rather, it is two buildings that I used to work at. Every single time I see those places I can’t help but smile and remember how far I have come and how much my life has changed. When I feel discouraged or frustrated in my current circumstances (which can happen as an educator in the Covid era), I think about those Ebenezers in my own life and just thank God for all He has done for me and all he is doing for me, whether I know it or not.

One of the “Ebenezer Stones” in my life. Every single time I see this place, I remember all God has brought me through

So I want to challenge you. What is your Ebenezer? Is there a place or time that you know that “up to this point the Lord has helped me”. Take some time to think about that concept and find a way to acknowledge that and thank God for all he has done in your life.

Focus on the Narrow Road

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If you have been a Christian for any amount of time, you know that praying isn’t always an easy thing to do. Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are times when life is going good that we can tend to get over confident in our own abilities. Our prayers can become hollow and really we start to trust in ourselves more than God. Check that box, I know I am guilty of that from time to time. However, when we deal with hard things, that often drives us into a more genuine prayer life.

Unfortunately, no matter what translation of the Bible you look at, there is never a place where it says “Follow me, this path is easy”. Instead, it says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14 NIV.

Narrow Road - North Maui Photograph by Amy Fose

Well, that’s encouraging.

Have you ever travelled on a narrow road? I know that I have. When you travel on a narrow road you have to take your time. It isn’t a freeway where you can set the cruise control and go without having to make a whole lot of adjustments. If that narrow road happens to be in rough terrain, you have to really slow down. You may even have to pull over and watch someone else pass you by from time to time. You can’t proceed faster than you are able, or you will likely wreck.

Our spiritual journey is like that. Sometimes we are able to roll very smoothly at a good pace. Other times, we take a hairpin turn and feel like we are headed in the exact wrong direction. That is when our prayer life needs to really kick in. So why not look at the model prayer for a little advice? I am referring to the Lord’s prayer that millions around the world have memorized and repeat often (See Matthew 6). However, there are a few key things in that prayer that should cause us to pause a little bit.

First it says to “give us this day our daily bread”. That is something that we as Americans struggle with big time, meaning I struggle with it big time. For proof of that look no further than the toilet paper extravaganza of 2020. We can’t even trust that we will have enough toilet paper without hoarding it, how are we ever going to trust God daily for something as basic as what we eat. That’s hard for me. I struggle when we get close to the end of the month and the cabinets start looking bare before I get to the store (I am a nerd who prefers to only shop once a month if possible). But we are not called to trust God for our monthly or weekly grocery trip, we are called to trust Him daily for our most basic necessities.

The second thing that can be tough in that prayer is where Jesus goes on to say “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”. That is scary. Some translations say forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. That’s terrifying. I don’t want to be forgiven in the way I forgive people sometimes. That should make us pause and think about who we may be holding unforgiveness toward. Jesus even goes on to say that if we forgive others, God will forgive us. But, if we don’t forgive others, God will also not forgive us.

Despite those challenging topics though, Jesus tells us that when we pray God already knows our needs. He does care about us, but he cares about us growing and becoming more Christ-like in the process. Jesus never once promises that He will always say yes to our requests. After all, also in the Lord’s prayer, it also says “may YOUR will be done” (emphasis mine). Believe it or not, our will is not always the same as God’s will. My prayer is that as I grow in my faith, my will will be in line with that of the Father’s. However, sometimes that is hard when we just don’t understand.

This year has been a year full of disappointments, frustrations, and loss. I find myself sometimes wavering in my own faith when things get tough, or when I feel like my prayers are not being answered. But I hold onto what God told Job when he felt the same way: “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.” Job 38:4 NLT.

Wow….that puts things in perspective. If God created the heavens and the earth and keeps the sun rising and setting every single day, I know that he is in control. We must reach a point where we can trust in that, no matter what the world looks like around us.

Tough Days

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Frazzled Mom Cartoon Clipart | Tired mom, Frazzled mom, Busy mom

We are living in a very strange time right now. I have to admit, I am a little bit of a hermit in my normal life (as much as is possible as a public school teacher surrounded by people all day). I cherish the moments I get alone with no one demanding of me, whether it is a high schooler needing help on a math problem, or my own 3 children. However, this is different. This “social distancing” isolation thing is not the same as me shutting my classroom door during the lunch period to get work done and have a few moments alone to listen to my podcasts. No, this world that we are in proves what God himself said in the very beginning, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him- a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” Genesis 2:18 AMP

As humans, we need each other. We thrive when we are together and able to interact. On the other hand, when we are alone we tend to struggle. That is when depression and discouragement take hold. We need others to build us up.

Today was one of those tough days for me. I am fortunately not alone in my “social distancing”, I have my husband and 3 girls who keep me on my toes. However, I do miss the “outside” world. I miss my rare date nights going out with my husband. I miss having coworkers to talk to and joke around with without staring at a computer screen to do it. I miss going to the grocery store without feeling like you are in a war zone because everyone around you is wearing masks.

Today was one of those days where I looked around the house that I have cleaned 3 or 4 times already this week that looks like an explosion of crumbs, toys, shoes, and dirty laundry…again. It was a day that I have already done two loads of dishes, and probably need to do another. Today was a day where I should have been at church hugging friends and instead, I was stuck in the messy house staring at a screen pretending like it is the same thing. We all know it isn’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for the technology we do have to be able to interact virtually. As a matter of fact, I have loved getting to “attend” other churches in neighboring towns because of the fact that everyone is now live streaming their services. I have really enjoyed that. I also appreciate that I have the means to text or call someone. But like I said, it’s not the same.

So what’s the solution?

I have no idea. To be honest with you, I am only writing this because I felt like I am probably not the only one feeling the same way. I think that we all now realize how much we have taken human interaction for granted. I never valued the interruptions I had when I was trying to get work done at school like I do now. I also never valued how good it felt to go to a grocery store or restaurant without feeling like I may just be swimming in a sea of germs (even though we always have been, just never thought about it).

If nothing else, I hope that we all come out of this appreciating each other a little bit more. I know that even though my kiddos are messy, I do appreciate the fact that I get to experience more little moments with them, like today when my sweet 4 year old finally mastered pedalling a bike. I have also loved seeing them learn more about reptiles because of the lizard, horny toad, and frogs they have found while playing outside. There are definitely blessings coming out of this pandemic.

My prayer right now is for every lonely person whether they are surrounded by family or don’t have anyone else around. I pray for the depressed and the discouraged. Know that even in your loneliest moment, God is there.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39