Jesus

A Better Resolution

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It’s the beginning of January! As we ring in a new year, it likely means that you have made some new year’s resolutions. As a matter of fact, we are already more than a week into 2022, you may have already given up on those resolutions by now. I stopped making resolutions years ago. I decided that if there is something I want to change, I don’t need to wait until a new year rolls around to do them. That being said, I might just change my mind this year.

The past 2 years have been crazy for most of us, myself included. I have rejoiced in the new births in my family, as well as grieved at the loss of family members way too soon. I have made new friends, and seen the loss of friends. I, just like you, have had times where I felt on top of the world, and times where I felt alone in a pit of despair. If I had to get real honest, 2022 has already started off a little difficult. Many of the issues of 2021 have found their way into this new year as well. I want this year to be different.

If you know me very well at all, you would know that I am a podcast gal. I listen to several different podcasts, primarily ones with a Christian leaning. I often listen to them while doing housework (it makes the mundane more tolerable). Yesterday, I was listening to a sermon and was struck with something that has now been working on me for the past 24 hours. This wasn’t a new message by any means. I have heard similar things from dozens of ministers in the past. However, there is something about the space I am living in right at this moment that made it hit me a little different. The pastor was talking about a well known verse, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV). “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.“

Like I said, not an unfamiliar verse. However, he pulled out a church camp move and talked about replacing the word love with your name. If you have never done that, please do. Fill in the blanks with your name: __________________ is patient, __________________ is kind. __________________ does not envy, __________________ does not boast, __________________ is not proud. __________________ does not dishonor others, __________________ is not self-seeking, __________________ is not easily angered, __________________keeps no record of wrongs. __________________ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. __________________ always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

If that doesn’t mess with you just a little (or massively), you are either perfect or lying to yourself.

Wow! Oh, how I fail miserably when I put myself in those verses. So, I want to make a better resolution this year. I want to allow God to change me from the ground up to better fit the mold of those verses. I want to be a more loving person this year. It isn’t easy. I struggle with so many of those, specifically keeping record of wrongs. When I, or someone I love, are betrayed, that’s hard to let go of. It is also hard to be patient and kind during stressful times.

As we cautiously enter this new year, let us set aside our self-serving ways, and really make our goal to learn to love others better. Jesus himself said it best when He said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34 NIV.

The Loneliness of Mary

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I love Christmas! However this Christmas felt a little weird. It has been so windy here that we weren’t even able to do much outside yesterday without being miserable. Instead, we had a pretty lazy day watching movies and just hanging out around the house. As I watched all the movies it occurred to me how romanticized Christmas has become. Either it is this magical thing that revolves around Santa and gifts, or it is almost presented as a fairy tale when it comes to the story of Jesus.

I don’t think either of those ends of the spectrum really do the holiday justice. I even worry about my own kids. I don’t want them to miss out on the fun parts of Christmas, but I also want to make sure that they know what the day really means. I have to work hard myself to not lose the real meaning in the mess of the hustle and bustle.

Reflection on Our Blessed Mother, Mary – Diocese of Orlando, Florida

It occured to me this year as I was reading back through the story of Jesus’ birth how lonely Mary must have felt. In the modern world we live in, we are so much more accepting of teenage, unwed mothers. However, in Mary’s day that would have been enough to get her stoned in the street. We tend to glaze over it calling her blessed among women, which she is, but she probably didn’t feel that way at the time.

*disclaimer: this is simply my thoughts and opinions on the issue, not necessarily stated in scripture*

Picture if a teen girl tried to convince you that her pregnancy was the Son of God, not the result of her indiscretions. I imagine that there was a lot of rumors, dirty looks, and down right cruelty from the people in town. I would also imagine that may be part of the reason that she went and stayed with her relative Elizabeth for 3 months (see Luke 1:56).

It is no secret that women can be cruel to each other. To be perfectly honest, I have struggled my whole life to have close, intimate female friendships that went any deeper than surface level. That is largely because women are sometimes vindictive and hold onto grudges. This isn’t to paint women in a bad light, it is simply something that I sadly have experienced too many times. As I think of Mary, I believe she endured a tremendous amount of cruel words and accusations. Mary really had no one but Elizabeth who could possibly understand a miracle pregnancy. It was probably a pretty lonely place to be. Now, I am sure that Joseph did his best to understand and listen to Mary, but I bet there were times where she just wept because she felt alone. I think that all of the frustrations she likely dealt with during her pregnancy are largely part of the reason she “treasured in her heart” so many of the things after Jesus was born (see Luke 2:19 and 2:49-51).

Although none of us are pregnant with the Messiah (he doesn’t come back that way), I believe that we all carry our own burdens and frustrations. In this world of social media and cell phones, we are more connected than ever but in many ways so much more alone. We all carry things that we feel no one really understands, and they likely don’t. It makes me so sad how disconnected we can become from each other. However, just like He did for Mary, God does have a greater plan. We are never promised a life with no frustrations. We can, however, take heart knowing that rather than repeating the cycle of pain, we can use our own pain as a catalyst to be more empathetic and compassionate to others. I imagine that Mary had a soft place in her heart for the rest of her life for women who were unwed and pregnant. I also imagine that she probably tried to give people the benefit of the doubt before passing judgement. The compassion of Jesus shows that his mother was a compassionate person.

My prayer as we enter the new year, is that any pain, disappointment, or frustration that we may be dealing with, may be the very thing that in the year 2022, will lead us to the next level of what God has for us.

Marked Moments

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“Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond his control.”

This quote was spoken by Joni Eareckson Tada, one of the most unlikely people to speak such a thing because she has been a quadriplegic since the age of 17. This quote speaks volumes to me. I believe with all my heart that God is in control, I just wish I could get that through to my head sometimes. I know that I don’t always act like it, but I do know it’s true.

I believe that there are moments that can change the trajectory of our lives in an instant. Some of my own examples include asking a friend of mine to a college formal (I ended up marrying that friend), getting laid off from a job I thought I would have forever, making the decision to become a teacher, and having a sweet surprise 3rd child, just to name a few. Those moments may be exciting, or devastating, but they mark us in a way that we are never quite the same.

I absolutely love the story of Joseph (It starts in Genesis 37). He goes through so many things leading from the dreams to the palace. His troubles all started because of a combination of his bragging ways and his evil brothers selling him into slavery. This lead him to eventually end up in prison. However, all the sorrows he went through, became the catalyst to become the 2nd in command in the palace. He needed these experiences to refine him. To humble his ego, learn to submit to authority, and always do the right thing, even when it ended in wrong results.

I can’t help but think the same is true in our own lives. Every experience, every setback, every frustration, and every triumph are all designed to take us from where we are to where God wants us to be. However, it is up to us to push through the hard times with integrity. When we don’t, we may end up needing to learn those lessons again.

I teach a lot of juniors and seniors. In Texas, they have to take and pass a lot of tests to graduation high school. When they don’t learn the lessons needed to pass the first time, they have the opportunity to try again. In order for those kids to be successful they must be in tutorial classes and re-learn much of the information. God does the same with us. If we fail the pride lesson, he gives us more opportunities to learn humility before we are ready for the next lesson. He never gives us a test we aren’t prepared for. However, He may give us a test we really don’t want. That’s the part I don’t like.

I want to refer back to the quote I started with. “Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond his control.” Joni has now been wheelchair bound for over 50 years, yet has reached hundreds of thousands of people with her ministry and was also instrumental in helping the Americans with Disabilities Act get passed. I am sure she had no idea at the age of 17 the impact that she would have. I am also sure that 50 years from now, you have no idea what purpose the challenges you are going through are going to serve. Now, you may not be headed to 2nd in command of a kingdom or leading a worldwide ministry. But maybe you, like me, have a few kids, grandkids, or people who look up to you that see how you live your life and face your challenges. What they see from you will minister for generations to come, in good or bad ways.

We all have moments that mark our lives. Let’s use those marked moments to propel us into the next level of what God has in store for us.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

For Such a Time as This

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Pin on Cricut

I truly believe that God places us exactly where He wants us for a specific reason. That being said, it is not always easy to act like I believe that. It’s incredibly easy to get pulled into the muck. It’s socially acceptable to gripe, complain, and belly ache about every little thing that doesn’t go my way. I hate that. I want to be the person who enjoys the moments on the way to the destination.

As I look back though my past, I can see the fingerprints of God all over the difficult times in my life. I know the value of having worked for an employer who was not a person of integrity, it makes me want to be a person of integrity all the more. I now realize how valuable the struggles of being overlooked for a job, because I now realize that would not have been a good fit for me plus it taught me how to have a good work ethic. I get why, in my first couple of years of teaching, my opinion wasn’t really listened to (because honestly I was mostly wrong and didn’t have the knowledge yet to even have an opinion on many things). I get all of that. I am thankful for every twist and turn that my life has taken to lead me to where I am at today.

That sounds great, but I still can’t manage to think that way while I am in the middle of a frustration. It’s especially true when I feel like I am being wronged, whether by a stranger or a friend. In my innocent little world, everyone needs to just assume the best about my intentions, needs to be kind to each other, and shouldn’t make up lies. Unfortunately, that isn’t how the world works.

We can take heart though.

I was recently re-reading one of my favorite Bible stories about a young woman, through no fault of her own, was ripped out of her home and found herself married to a king (one of many wives I might add). I am referring to Esther, of course. Now, as amazing as it sounds to be married to the king, for her it meant hiding who she really was (a Jew) and having to seek permission to come have a conversation with her husband. Not exactly ideal if you ask me. If you know the story you know that because of the fact she was in the palace, she was able to help save the Jewish people who were scheduled to be wiped out. If you don’t know the story make sure to check out the book of Esther, it is a pretty quick read. One of my all time favorite parts of that story is a line by her uncle Mordecai, “Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” Esther 4:14 NLT.

So I say to you, who knows if perhaps you weren’t __________________ for such a time as this. Fill in that blank with whatever difficult thing you are dealing with. Who knows, maybe the situation you are in at this very moment, is exactly what you need to accomplish the next thing God has slated for you?

Build a Monument

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Ancient Israelites didn’t always do everything right (remember that whole 40 years they took to make an 11 day journey thing). However, one thing they did do over and over very well was to remember and celebrate what God had done for them. Throughout the pages of scripture, there are feasts and celebrations to commemorate various things that God had done for His people. I love the idea of feasts, but there is something that was done that I love even more.

Time and time again, whenever the Israelites had overcome something because of God’s divine help, they would often build a monument or a memorial to always remember what had occurred and how God had helped them. When the Israelites crossed into the promised land, the first thing they did was get 12 stones to represent the 12 tribes and build a monument to remember what God had done for them (see Joshua 4). There are numerous other instances throughout scripture of people building a monument at a place where they had seen God do a miraculous thing. Jacob put up a stone monument on several occasions in Genesis. Now, these monuments weren’t necessarily huge or elaborate as we may imagine when we think of modern-day monuments in our world. No, often these would be simple and made of a stone or several stones that were placed in strategic places to remind the people who were doing it of the miraculous work God had done in their lives.

My favorite mention of a stone monument is the concept of an Ebenezer stone in 1 Samuel, right after the Lord had helped rescue the Israelites from the Philistines. “Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!” 1 Samuel 7:12 NLT. I love that concept! I think we all need a few Ebenezer stones of help in our life to help us to see how “up to this point the Lord has helped us”.

I just recently crossed the 12 year anniversary of a life-changing time in my life where I lost a job and found myself in the middle of many course corrections that have led me where I am today (if you don’t know the story you can read about it in some of my older blogs or in my book here). As I thought back to where I was and where I am now, this concept of an Ebenezer stone came to my mind. My Ebenezer is not a stone monument I built, rather, it is two buildings that I used to work at. Every single time I see those places I can’t help but smile and remember how far I have come and how much my life has changed. When I feel discouraged or frustrated in my current circumstances (which can happen as an educator in the Covid era), I think about those Ebenezers in my own life and just thank God for all He has done for me and all he is doing for me, whether I know it or not.

One of the “Ebenezer Stones” in my life. Every single time I see this place, I remember all God has brought me through

So I want to challenge you. What is your Ebenezer? Is there a place or time that you know that “up to this point the Lord has helped me”. Take some time to think about that concept and find a way to acknowledge that and thank God for all he has done in your life.

Grafted

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Oreo and little orphan Buck

If this image looks a little strange to you, it’s because it is. We raise a breed of goats that are called Boer (they are the ones with white bodies and red heads typically). However, we also have a handful of Lamancha dairy goats that we inherited with some of the Boers that we purchased a few years ago. Lamanchas are an interesting breed of goat because they are some of the most gentle, even tempered goats you will ever meet. The drawback is that they are ugly as sin because they have no ears and they are not really a market animal (which is what we are in the business for). Well, this particular black and white Lamancha, Oreo, is such a sweetheart. Unfortunately, she had a hard time giving birth to her very first baby last weekend and ended up delivering a stillborn, that my husband had to help pull. Rather than her finding out that her kid didn’t make it, I quickly grabbed my little bottle baby, Buck, so that we could try to graft him onto her.

Little Buck couldn’t even stand up for over a week after he was born

Let me give you a little back story. Buck was born a little over a month ago and was the runt of a set of triplets. He was not able to stand up and his mother really didn’t tend to him. After trying throughout the day, unsuccessfully, to get her to tend to him and get him to stand up, we finally decided to get him inside and get him warmed up and fed. Since that time he has been my little bottle baby. He lived in a small water trough inside our house for about 3 weeks so that I could feed him (forcefully to begin with) and treat a nasty eye infection. Over time he healed and started standing, walking, running, and finally got well enough that we couldn’t even keep him in his little makeshift pen because he would just jump out. So we moved him to a little pen out in the barn with the other goats.

Buck in his new home in the barn when we moved him out of the house

My goal has always been to get him a real goat mom, but I was unsuccessful trying to get his actual mom to take him back. Goats are funny about that. Once they abandon a kid, they will not take them back. So I went along just feeding him several times a day. That all changed a week ago when I finally had a mom that needed a baby.

It has taken the full week but the picture at the top was the very first time she was letting him nurse without me having to be in there with her. It is an amazing feeling (even if it is a goat) to see an orphan gain a mom. And that got me to thinking about a few things.

I realized that every single person who calls themselves a Christian is also an orphan that has been grafted into a new family. “But some of these branches from Abraham’s tree—some of the people of Israel—have been broken off. And you Gentiles, who were branches from a wild olive tree, have been grafted in. So now you also receive the blessing God has promised Abraham and his children, sharing in the rich nourishment from the root of God’s special olive tree.” Romans 11:17 NLT

Grafting is an interesting process in the plant world. It is essentially taking part of one plant and putting it with another to make it grow as one. As time goes on in the process, the plant being grafted on (called the cutting or scion) takes on the characteristics of the one it is being grafted too (called the rootstock). Grafting is not a simple, or painless, process. As a matter of fact it involves cutting, bandaging, and a lot of time. This is often done when a plant has rooted poorly, or not all, and would die otherwise.

WOW! Isn’t that an analogy for us? Our process of grafting into the family of God is not necessarily a painless one. Sometimes there are things that need to be cut away and lots of time for healing past wounds. Nonetheless, we are called Sons and Daughters of God. We have been adopted, but we are chosen as heirs to the very kingdom of God. “And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering.” Romans 8:17 NLT

Did you catch that last little part? Yes, we are His children, but we are also not immune to suffering on this earth. So, while you go through the pains and frustrations that can come with your own grafting process, I want to encourage you with this: as you heal and are fully grafted, you will also grow closer to the source of life and with that you will also start to take on the characteristics of the rootstock. So no matter what you are going though, push through the pain and remember that you are already grafted and accepted just as you are.

But also remember this: just because you are accepted exactly as you are, that doesn’t mean God is going to leave you that way!

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.” Psalm 51:10-12 ESV

Focus on the Narrow Road

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If you have been a Christian for any amount of time, you know that praying isn’t always an easy thing to do. Oh, don’t get me wrong. There are times when life is going good that we can tend to get over confident in our own abilities. Our prayers can become hollow and really we start to trust in ourselves more than God. Check that box, I know I am guilty of that from time to time. However, when we deal with hard things, that often drives us into a more genuine prayer life.

Unfortunately, no matter what translation of the Bible you look at, there is never a place where it says “Follow me, this path is easy”. Instead, it says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14 NIV.

Narrow Road - North Maui Photograph by Amy Fose

Well, that’s encouraging.

Have you ever travelled on a narrow road? I know that I have. When you travel on a narrow road you have to take your time. It isn’t a freeway where you can set the cruise control and go without having to make a whole lot of adjustments. If that narrow road happens to be in rough terrain, you have to really slow down. You may even have to pull over and watch someone else pass you by from time to time. You can’t proceed faster than you are able, or you will likely wreck.

Our spiritual journey is like that. Sometimes we are able to roll very smoothly at a good pace. Other times, we take a hairpin turn and feel like we are headed in the exact wrong direction. That is when our prayer life needs to really kick in. So why not look at the model prayer for a little advice? I am referring to the Lord’s prayer that millions around the world have memorized and repeat often (See Matthew 6). However, there are a few key things in that prayer that should cause us to pause a little bit.

First it says to “give us this day our daily bread”. That is something that we as Americans struggle with big time, meaning I struggle with it big time. For proof of that look no further than the toilet paper extravaganza of 2020. We can’t even trust that we will have enough toilet paper without hoarding it, how are we ever going to trust God daily for something as basic as what we eat. That’s hard for me. I struggle when we get close to the end of the month and the cabinets start looking bare before I get to the store (I am a nerd who prefers to only shop once a month if possible). But we are not called to trust God for our monthly or weekly grocery trip, we are called to trust Him daily for our most basic necessities.

The second thing that can be tough in that prayer is where Jesus goes on to say “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”. That is scary. Some translations say forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. That’s terrifying. I don’t want to be forgiven in the way I forgive people sometimes. That should make us pause and think about who we may be holding unforgiveness toward. Jesus even goes on to say that if we forgive others, God will forgive us. But, if we don’t forgive others, God will also not forgive us.

Despite those challenging topics though, Jesus tells us that when we pray God already knows our needs. He does care about us, but he cares about us growing and becoming more Christ-like in the process. Jesus never once promises that He will always say yes to our requests. After all, also in the Lord’s prayer, it also says “may YOUR will be done” (emphasis mine). Believe it or not, our will is not always the same as God’s will. My prayer is that as I grow in my faith, my will will be in line with that of the Father’s. However, sometimes that is hard when we just don’t understand.

This year has been a year full of disappointments, frustrations, and loss. I find myself sometimes wavering in my own faith when things get tough, or when I feel like my prayers are not being answered. But I hold onto what God told Job when he felt the same way: “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell me, if you know so much.” Job 38:4 NLT.

Wow….that puts things in perspective. If God created the heavens and the earth and keeps the sun rising and setting every single day, I know that he is in control. We must reach a point where we can trust in that, no matter what the world looks like around us.

Don’t Create An Ishmael While You Wait On Your Isaac

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I am an extremely impatient person, as many of you may be.  I remember a particular Christmas as a kid when I actually tiptoed out of my room with a flashlight before dawn just to see what Santa had brought, then went back to bed and pretended to be surprised in the morning when I could finally get up (sorry mom).  I hate having to wait on things, especially if it is something I really want.
Over the years, I have really had to learn how to be patient.  One of the many areas I have had to learn the lesson of patience, has been in my finances.  When I first got married I knew nothing other than simply throwing things on a credit card or loan.  In my first few months of marriage in the process of building a home, my husband and I acquired one of the things many married couples do: debt.  We wound up with the Home Depot Card, Furniture Row Card, and a few other cards and debts.  Of course, we could have saved a little money by buying used, but hey we were married now so we deserved to buy new; regardless of whether we could afford the “things” or not.  Thank goodness, about 9 months after we were married, we wound up going through Financial Peace University (a class that teaches about finances from a Biblical perspective by Dave Ramsey) through our small group at church.  This course opened our eyes to see how important getting and staying out of debt was, and really revolutionized our thought process when it came to money.  We have had to make some tough decisions in order to not go back into the debt we use to live under.  It has not always been easy, but has always been worth it.
If you know the story of Abraham in the Bible, you know that there was a little bit of dysfunction in his life.  God had promised him a son, but time was ticking away and still he had no son.  His wife decided that since she couldn’t have a son that they could “rig it” and he could have a son through her servant Hagar (what wife in her right mind would do that???).  It worked, Hagar became pregnant and had a son she named Ishmael.  However, that was not he son God had promised.  Abraham and Sarah had jumped the gun and ended up with less than God’s best for them. One of my favorite things about this story is the fact that even though Abraham and Sarah had royally messed up (and we still feel the affects of this mess up all these years later, just look at the middle east), God continued to hold up his end of the promise.  The real blessing was Isaac who would be born from Sarah 14 years later. “The Lord kept his word and did for Sarah exactly what he had promised. She became pregnant, and she gave birth to a son for Abraham in his old age. This happened at just the time God had said it would.” Genesis 21:1-2 NLT.
So many of us create our own Ishmael in the process of waiting on our Isaac.  It is so hard to wait, especially if things look impossible.  Things looked impossible for Abraham.  After all, he was 86 when Ishmael came along and 100 when Isaac finally arrived.  Talk about a long wait!  I honestly don’t blame them for trying their own way to make things happen.  However, had they simply waited and trusted in God, they could have avoided a lot of heartache.
So what is your Ishmael?  Have you entered into a bad relationship simply because you didn’t want to wait on who God has for you?  Or have you gotten yourself into insane amounts of debt because you didn’t want to wait and save up?  Or maybe you tried to force God’s hand on another thing you feel you have been promised and have made a mess of it.  Whatever your Ishmael, remember that God is true to his promises.  He has an Isaac in store if we can simply wait on His timing.

Impulsive Faith

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I am a chronic over-analyzer. I tend to absolutely overthink everything. I would not refer to myself as a perfectionist by any stretch of the imagination (if you want confirmation of that, just check out my lack of organizational skills), however, when I do something I want to do it well and feel like I owe it to myself and anyone else involved to do the best I possibly can. That tends to cause me a lot of lost sleep as I run through scenarios and conversations that have not even happened in the middle of the night. That quality also makes it difficult to take a step or a leap of faith when I feel called to do something. Rather than thinking about the possibilities of success if I take the step, I tend to think of what kind of ways I could fail.

Sadly, that way of thinking is the polar opposite of how we are supposed to really live out our faith. I don’t recall reading a story in the Bible where the characters had to “think and pray” about anything. They just did what they felt called to. Whether it was Rahab risking her life to protect the Hebrew spies (see Joshua 2), Noah building an Ark when he had never even seen rain (see Genesis 5), or my personal favorite, Peter stepping out of the boat (see Matthew 14), all of these giants of the faith took steps of faith, without hesitation.

News · Why did Jesus walk on water? · United Methodist Men

I especially love Peter, mostly because of his impulsive faith. Sometimes he gets a bad rap because he is impulsive. However, I have a different perspective. I think he is a giant in the area of faith. The man stepped out of a boat, during a storm!!! Who thinks that way? If you look at the story of Peter walking on water as a whole, the rest of the apostles reacted the way a lot of us would. They were fearful. They thought Jesus was a ghost. They had analysis paralysis and likely thought Peter was insane when he called out to Jesus and stepped out of the boat. The funny thing is though, that their hesitation made them miss out on another miracle (by the way, this happened right after Jesus miraculously fed a multitude).

I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to miss out on the miraculous things God has planned for me, because of fear of failure. Or worse yet, I don’t want to let the fear of what others may or may not think of me stop me from stepping out in faith. I lived the first 2/3 of my life missing out on things because I was trying to please others or look a certain way. Whether it was trying to please my parents, teachers or friends, or trying to portray myself as a perfect little Christian, I let those things keep me from taking any bold steps outside of what was “pleasing to man”. I don’t want to live that way. I want to be more like Peter and take bold steps of faith.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 ESV

It is very hard to not want to please, or for some try to impress, those around us. We all want to feel like we belong and are accepted. What isn’t okay, is sacrificing our calling and our faith in order to be a part of that “in-crowd”. My prayer for all of us is that we would shed a little of that cautious nature, and start having a more impulsive faith like that of Peter, Ruth, Paul, Rahab, and countless others. When I leave this world, I want it to be said of me that I wasn’t afraid to take a step, or leap, of faith.

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Tough Days

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Frazzled Mom Cartoon Clipart | Tired mom, Frazzled mom, Busy mom

We are living in a very strange time right now. I have to admit, I am a little bit of a hermit in my normal life (as much as is possible as a public school teacher surrounded by people all day). I cherish the moments I get alone with no one demanding of me, whether it is a high schooler needing help on a math problem, or my own 3 children. However, this is different. This “social distancing” isolation thing is not the same as me shutting my classroom door during the lunch period to get work done and have a few moments alone to listen to my podcasts. No, this world that we are in proves what God himself said in the very beginning, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him- a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” Genesis 2:18 AMP

As humans, we need each other. We thrive when we are together and able to interact. On the other hand, when we are alone we tend to struggle. That is when depression and discouragement take hold. We need others to build us up.

Today was one of those tough days for me. I am fortunately not alone in my “social distancing”, I have my husband and 3 girls who keep me on my toes. However, I do miss the “outside” world. I miss my rare date nights going out with my husband. I miss having coworkers to talk to and joke around with without staring at a computer screen to do it. I miss going to the grocery store without feeling like you are in a war zone because everyone around you is wearing masks.

Today was one of those days where I looked around the house that I have cleaned 3 or 4 times already this week that looks like an explosion of crumbs, toys, shoes, and dirty laundry…again. It was a day that I have already done two loads of dishes, and probably need to do another. Today was a day where I should have been at church hugging friends and instead, I was stuck in the messy house staring at a screen pretending like it is the same thing. We all know it isn’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for the technology we do have to be able to interact virtually. As a matter of fact, I have loved getting to “attend” other churches in neighboring towns because of the fact that everyone is now live streaming their services. I have really enjoyed that. I also appreciate that I have the means to text or call someone. But like I said, it’s not the same.

So what’s the solution?

I have no idea. To be honest with you, I am only writing this because I felt like I am probably not the only one feeling the same way. I think that we all now realize how much we have taken human interaction for granted. I never valued the interruptions I had when I was trying to get work done at school like I do now. I also never valued how good it felt to go to a grocery store or restaurant without feeling like I may just be swimming in a sea of germs (even though we always have been, just never thought about it).

If nothing else, I hope that we all come out of this appreciating each other a little bit more. I know that even though my kiddos are messy, I do appreciate the fact that I get to experience more little moments with them, like today when my sweet 4 year old finally mastered pedalling a bike. I have also loved seeing them learn more about reptiles because of the lizard, horny toad, and frogs they have found while playing outside. There are definitely blessings coming out of this pandemic.

My prayer right now is for every lonely person whether they are surrounded by family or don’t have anyone else around. I pray for the depressed and the discouraged. Know that even in your loneliest moment, God is there.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39