love

Not Exactly What I Expected

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

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This is my 7th year in a classroom. Had it not been for the 1 year hiatus I took a year and a half ago, it would be my 8th. Over those 7 years I have taught at least 800 students (probably more, I’ve lost track). I have taught everything from 6th grade to 12th grade and students from all walks of life and different cultures. If you know me, you know that teaching was not really in the game plan for my life at all as a high school or college student. As a matter of fact, I distinctly remember the thought come across my mind while I walked the halls of my high school of “why would anyone want to teach a bunch of high school kids”. Oh boy, life sure does have a way of taking some odd twists and turns.

Now that I have crossed the teenager/adult threshold, I often find myself having conversations with the kids I teach about their goals and dreams. On one hand I want to encourage every single dream they have and tell them to go for it with all they have. However, on the other hand, I know the harsh realities of life and how achieving those dreams typically takes longer and costs more than you ever planned. I also know that just because you think you know what you are going to do with your life as an 18 to 21 year old high school or college student, doesn’t mean that’s how it’s going to shake out. Now, are all of those ‘harsh realities’ bad? No, I actually think the harsh realities are what builds our character, although that doesn’t make them any less harsh.

As I think back to the naive girl I was when I moved to Texas, almost 13 years ago now, I can’t help but laugh a little. I was certain that life was a whole lot cheaper than it actually is. I had no idea of the realities of medical bills, property taxes, even how drastically an electric bill can vary based on the time of year it is and how hot or cold it may be outside. I was clueless to all of those things. That’s one reason I love to teach kids as much as a I can about the real world. I wish so badly that I would have been offered a basic real world finance class in high school rather than learning it in the school of hard knocks.

Let’s just get real honest though, regardless of the class I took or who told me what amazing advice, would I have listened? Probably not. Just like almost every teenager on the face of the planet, I had to experience the hard stuff for myself to really understand. That hard stuff is what humbles us. It also develops a compassion in us for what those around us are experiencing. When you experience something hard, it gives you a unique perspective that could be very useful in helping someone else. Rather than wishing for something else, maybe we should seek what we can learn in our rough spots. Easier said than done, for sure, but no less true.

So, although I sure didn’t think my life would turn out this way, I would not change the process of getting from where I was, to where I am now. Honestly, the person I was 13 years ago, is vastly different than the person I am now. I hope I will only continue to grow, learn, and change. If I was to get even more honest, I feel bad for people who have never been stretched. It’s easy to spot a person who has never been taken out of their comfort zone. Typically they are the ones who are hard to work with because they don’t have compassion for others. They are also the people who are very judgemental and have an opinion about how you are doing something, when they have never done it themselves.

I love these verses about this very topic (emphasis added): “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.” Galatians 6:1-5 NLT

So, rather than wishing life had turned out differently, lets instead embrace the craziness and use it to help others. Imagine a world when we all really did share each others’ burdens and humbly helped each other. Imagine what it would feel like to truly love others with the love that Christ has for us, and to receive that kind of love from others. What an amazing world that would be!

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The Untold Tales of Snow Day 2018

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

*Disclaimer: I LOVE SNOW DAYS, however, when you have 3 small children, a snow day is often more work than going to work, and there is a lot more than a cute hashtag and filtered pictures. This, is the rest of the story.*

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The snow started falling at 5 pm yesterday at the 7 Circle and didn’t stop all night. I woke up at 5:20 am to discover that my school district was still running on time. I proceeded to get up, look out the window, and start to panic a little thinking of how I was going to tackle the highway (that happens to run east and west with a wind out of the north). Almost every neighboring school had either already cancelled or had decided to start 2 hours late (including the one my husband works at). I headed back to bed, unable to fall asleep because I kept checking every 10 minutes to see if my prayers for at least a delayed start had been answered. Much to my surprise, around 6 o’clock, my school was cancelled. As my husband puts it, he could feel the happiness radiate from me at that moment. Honestly, it was more relief at not having to drive in the blizzard-like conditions that were going on outside.

Now, as much of a blessing as a snow day is, particularly for a tired teacher in the November lull, a snow day also means more work when you have 3 kids who can’t do everything for themselves yet. The ironic thing about kids is that you can’t pry them out of bed on a school day, but when it is the weekend, or in this case, a snow day, they are up and at em bright and early. 7:02 am to be precise. The sun had not even risen yet and I had a 6 year old by my bedside (why do they always come to my side of the bed?) wanting me to turn on a movie. So, being tired mom, I proceeded to turn on a movie (it must be over an hour long, the longer the better) and headed back to bed. It’s such a futile effort to try to sleep in. Over the next hour the other two, a 4 and 2 year old, proceeded to parade in and out of my room. The four year old wanted something to eat while the 2 year old scared the daylights out of me by putting her face directly next to mine, in true horror movie fashion, and said “mommy, I wake you up”, when I jumped after feeling a presence in my bubble.

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After the chaos of breakfast, everyone wanted to go outside and play in the snow. Now, it was extremely cold and windy still, but you can’t convince young kids of that until they experience it firsthand. So, we started the process of getting everyone bundled up to go out. This is not an easy task and typically takes 15 minutes or more to get dressed, and we usually stay outside approximately 4 minutes. We initiated the getting bundled up process at least 5 times throughout the day.

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When daddy went outside to break water and make sure all the animals were situated, all 3 wanted to go out to the shop too. That proved to be a mistake. Maybe 10 minutes after they went outside, I heard a wailing cry outside and saw my 2 year old stuck in a snow drift with only one glove. She had gotten stuck because rather than walk through the lower parts of the snow, she went trudging through the deep part. I rushed outside and hauled her in taking off all the winter clothes along the way.  She decided at that point that she really wasn’t sold on the whole snow thing, and told me she wanted to take a nap.

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When the girls decided they were too cold and needed to stay inside for a while, that’s when the destruction of the house commenced, not to mention the ongoing conflict and little scrapping that goes along with 3 girls “sharing”. At one point, my girls had a tent with a tube to crawl inside, about 7 naked babydolls, 2 doll strollers (one missing the fabric for the seat), an unknown number of snacks and crumbs, blankets and pillows, and 4 different games spread all over the livingroom floor.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we had a lot of fun. When my little one was napping, my husband and I took the bigger girls out on the sled (although it did end in tears when they got too cold), we made some delicious snow ice cream, watched The Grinch, and daddy lit a fire in the fireplace. There were so many blessings to my day. However, in the social media world we live in where you only see the highlight reel, I wanted you to see, the rest of the story.

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Book Review: Always Enough, Never Too Much

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

Anyone who knows me will agree that I tend to be incredibly outspoken and not afraid to share my opinion. Sometimes my big personality can be a bit overbearing. I often jump in when no one else speaks up. Because of that part of my personality, I often feel like I am a bit too much for people.  On the flip side of that, there is also a part of me that really wants to measure up and seeks approval. I think if we all get real honest, each one of us will fall more strongly into either the category of feeling like we are too much, or that we are not enough. If you are one of those people, this devotional is for you!

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This devotional is completely different than what you are use to. It is designed as a flip book. The first half of the book is the Always Enough section. There are fifty devotionals designed specifically for those days we may be feeling like we don’t exactly measure up. Those days when we feel inadequate or when we just don’t think we are good enough. The two authors, Jess Connolly and Hayley Morgan, take turns writing unique devotionals based around a different verse each day. Here is an example:

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On the flip side (literally you have to flip the book upside down), there are devotionals written for those times we feel a little overbearing. The Never Too Much section of the book has fifty devotionals centered around different verses to remind us of how even those big, sometimes loud, parts of our personalities can be used in amazing ways in the kingdom of God. Here is a Never Too Much example (I often have no filter, which is why I picked this one):

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This is definitely a devotional that I have been enjoying and will continue to enjoy! I highly recommend checking it out. If you would like to snag a copy for free go here and enter your information. There are 5 copies up for grabs!

Believing the Best

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

We live in an incredibly cynical world. It doesn’t matter who you talk to or where you look, everyone seems to have an opinion about everyone else. Sadly, those opinions are often pretty negative. We, and this includes me, are so quick to speak and slow to listen. That is a travesty. That is the complete opposite of what the Bible teaches us. In James 1:19-20 (NLT )we are told this, “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.”

We are called to make allowances for others. “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT). That last part is what will get you. The Lord has forgiven you, no matter what your faults may be, so you must also forgive others. I believe that forgiveness also involves believing the best in others. God does not forgive us and then keep a suspicious, doubting eye on us. No, He forgives, forgets, and has nothing but good thoughts for our futures.“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'” Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT). He never holds a grudge for your past mistakes and definitely doesn’t work against you simply because he doesn’t like you. So why do we? Why is it that we struggle so much to find the good in others, appreciate our differences, and especially believe the best about each other? Of course, a big reason is because we live in a fallen world. Ever since the days of Cain and Abel, we as humans have chosen to go down the path of bitterness, jealousy, and hate rather than being genuinely happy or excited about the successes of others.

Now, it is easier said than done to change that mindset. I can easily sit behind a computer screen and say “be forgiving and make allowances for that person who hurt you”. Unfortunately, that lasts about 5 seconds before the memories of all the hurt they have caused us come flooding in. So how do we handle that? The disciples wondered the same thing. “Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!'” Matthew 18:21-22 (NLT). I wanted to know a little more, so I dug into the original Greek word used for forgive, aphiémi. One of the definitions of this word is to let go and release. We tend to struggle with the whole concept of forgiveness, I know I certainly do. However, of all the definitions I looked at, none of them said that forgiveness means what the offender did is not wrong. Really, forgiveness is more for us than them as far as I can tell. When we release someone, that means they are no longer our responsibility. It releases us from the duty of judge, jury, and executioner.

Not all of our opinions of others are formed based on unforgiveness, yet, we often still have a hard time seeing and believing the best in others. We easily jump to conclusions about the motives of others and tend to shy away from giving the “benefit of a doubt” to each other. This is especially true among women (I only say that because I am one). We fall into competition, jealousy, and down-right mean heartedness far too often. I remember a job I had at one point where I actually quit going into the break room during lunch because every time I did I heard nothing but gossip and bad talk about other workers, including our boss. It’s an easy thing to get pulled into. I know I am far from innocent, especially when I was younger and just starting out. It is particularly prevalent when we don’t have all the information. For instance, if your boss has given you a new requirement and fails to explain the reasons, it takes no effort at all to think the boss doesn’t understand your job, is micromanaging, or possibly is just a moron. What we fail to recognize in moments like that is how important it is to give the same grace to others that we expect ourselves. I don’t know a single person who wouldn’t like to be given grace from others. So, maybe it’s time to extend it ourselves.

One of the most perspective-changing prayers I have been learning to pray over the past couple of years is “Lord, give me your eyes for this person”. It’s a tough prayer to say, because it is suddenly pretty hard to hate someone you are asking to see through God’s eyes. We are all here for a purpose, let’s make a conscience effort to support each other in that purpose, rather than tear each other down.

“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NLT).