Sabbath

As A Gentle Whisper

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

As a teacher of mostly 9th graders, I see every single day how much the creativity of people can be harmed by this instant gratitude, always entertained world we live in. Let’s just be honest, we are all guilty of this from time to time. Almost everyone has an entertainment system that they carry in their pocket, purse, or backpack at all times; the cell phone. Take a look around at practically any waiting room, restaurant, or even stoplight, and you will see grown humans grabbing for that phone and constantly having to be entertained. I am not innocent, and likely you aren’t either.

I have always tried to be careful to not allow too much technology into my girls’ world too soon, but I also don’t want to shelter them so that they don’t know how to use it. As a momma, this can be a very difficult thing to balance. I have never been the mom to just hand off my phone to keep my kids quiet. As a matter of fact, I never have, don’t even have kid’s games loaded on it. On the other hand, my eldest daughter does know how to turn on her cartoons and find movies on our television. It is such a hard balance. We have given in recently to the benefits of apps and websites for reading and math remediation for our girls, and do appreciate the things they are learning. However, when I see kids in my classes texting on smart watches and staring down at the phone “hidden” in their laps, or, like one creative student, in their pencil bag that they can see through to text or snapchat, I want to make sure my kids aren’t addicted to it. I want them to find meaningful real-life relationships. I also want them to find their value in knowing who they are in Christ, not because of social media likes.

I love seeing the imaginations of my girls when I force them to entertain themselves. I honestly think that it is becoming a lost art. We as a society are so afraid of, or maybe just opposed to, being bored. Boredom brings out such a creative part in kids (and adults) though, that I think they need to experience it.

Today is a perfect example of the benefits of boredom. We are at the tail end of Thanksgiving break and the wind was insane today. So, we decided to take our girls to go see a movie and a late lunch. When we returned home they wanted to turn on cartoons and we told them that they had just watched a movie so they needed to go play. I sat down to work on some school work that I have been putting off all week, and all 3 of them sat down at the table with me and with notebook paper, tape, and colored pencils, they created “books” telling the story of their day. When they finished that, they ran off to their rooms and started an epic princess saga that is still going even 2 hours after they have been told to go to bed. It is amazing what they come up with when they are left to their own devices.

I think that we are the same way. If we could just turn off the noise, imagine what we might come up with! Sabbath rest has been a theme for me lately. Thanksgiving break has been an amazing time of refreshing and recharging for me this year. I know that when I do turn off all the noise, that I can hear from God in a much more real way. I also know that when I take the time to take a break from constantly having to be entertained, I am so much more creative and better able to function during those busy times. As we inch our way to the new year, I want to slow down and quit allowing myself to get so distracted on what my goals and passions are. We need to remember that the presence of God comes as a whisper. You can’t hear a whisper when you are surrounded by noise.”

“The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” 1 King 19:11-13 NIV emphasis added

Paradigm Shift: A Challenge Update

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

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A few days ago, I shared a gratitude challenge (see my blog post Take the Challenge).  I thought I would give a little update on how it is going for me so far.

Soooo, you know the saying “easier said than done”? Yeah, that’s me. It is so easy to talk about putting gratitude into practice on a regular basis. Actually doing it is a completely different thing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have put some of the things into practice. For example, I did write a few thank you notes, and made a point to thank others for things they had done to help me.

Then Saturday hit.

It’s a funny thing, Saturdays. As a young 20-something newlywed with no kids, I looked forward to my Saturdays. Saturday meant I could sleep in, watch a movie, go on a date, and pretty much do whatever I wanted. Then we had three kids. Sleeping in is a thing of the past because I have kids who like to rise early. Saturdays now mean massive amounts of laundry, dishes, and catching up on housework all while trying to keep kids from making more of a mess or massively slowing me down with all their needs. The gratitude train got a bit derailed on Saturday. Actually, in the spirit of being completely honest, that train hit a cliff and burned completely to the ground. I allowed myself to enter into a pretty negative space mentally. I started internally (and to get real honest, externally too) grumbling and complaining about all that needed to be done. By the end of the day, I was a complete grump and ungrateful to the core. I ended up going to bed pretty early just because I was exhausted. Truth be told, that’s what I really needed anyways, because for about the last 2 weeks, my 3 year old has come in during the middle of the night pretty much every night and I had been a bit sleep deprived because of it.

Now, I didn’t really realize how ungrateful I was being until Sunday morning rolled around. My church participates each year in Operation Christmas Child and my family always packs 3 girl boxes (because I have 3 girls). When I was getting the boxes ready to bring to church, my girls were looking at everything and wanting all of it. My middle child started to really complain and pitched a fit about wanting what was in those boxes. This momma lost her cool. I was appalled at how my kids were acting. I explained to them that these boxes were going to little kids who didn’t get Christmas gifts. I told them that a lot of the kids that receive the boxes are extremely poor and may not even have enough food. I felt like such a failure as a mom because of the entitled way my kids were acting.

That’s when it hit me. I had the conviction come down on me like a flood. I am the one who has taught them to not appreciate what they have. It is little wonder that they grumble when they have to clean up all their toys, when I have been their model. There is little wonder why they don’t appreciate all they have, when I don’t always show that appreciation myself. I have to have a paradigm shift to see that even though I do have lots of laundry and dishes to do, I am blessed to live in a place where I have machines to do the hard work for me. I have to realize that even though my kids make lots of messes, I have healthy, active kids who love to play. I also have to remember that even though I do have a lot of housework to do on the weekends, I have a home and don’t have to worry about where I will sleep each night.

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Learning how to see the pile of laundry as a blessing!

So, I am adding to my challenge after this weekend. I want to model gratitude for my girls. I want to show them what it is like to be thankful. I’m really not sure how I will do it, but I do know that it is so important to me that my girls learn from a young age to be thankful for what they have been given I think I will start by being more thankful to them when they do things to help each other and me.

So my question to you is how do you train up your children to be grateful? I would love some ideas from people who, like me, are in the trenches, as well as those of you who have made it through parenthood and are on the other side.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17 NIV

 

Book Review: Take The Day Off

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I am extremely excited to share this book with you today. God works in mysterious ways, this book is proof of that. Over the last several months, I have really felt like I need to be better about observing a Sabbath day each week. One weekend in particular about a month ago, it was a bit chaotic. We were gone on Saturday, then Sunday rolled around and I ended up having to catch up on everything I missed doing earlier in the weekend; cleaning, dishes, washing a mountain range of laundry. The end of the weekend came and rather than being refreshed and ready for my week, I was frustrated and exhausted. The thought of the next day being Monday and back to the grind, was daunting. My attitude was not the best that week.

Then enter this book.

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The timing of getting this book in the mail could not have been more perfect. Two days after that insane weekend, this showed up in my mailbox (mind you, I didn’t know this one was coming, somehow missed that email). This book has changed my perspective the last couple of weeks.

I am a big Robert Morris fan. Our church just got done doing his teaching on The Blessed Life and I also listen to a podcast of his church (Gateway Church) on an almost weekly basis. I love the way he makes the truths of the Bible extremely practical and applicable. Take The Day Off is no exception to that. This book walks through the need for us to take a day off, not in a vacation sense, although those are good too, but in a Sabbath rest sense. Morris starts by walking through the commandment that we are given by God to take a Sabbath rest (see the 4th commandment in Exodus 20).

I want to encourage every single person who is reading this post to check this book out. This has been an amazing perspective shifting book for me. I have had a pretty stressful school year this year for some reason. It may be the combination of teaching more students that I have ever taught before, more of those students being English Language learners, or possible changes in testing that are causing me stress. Or it could be the fact that my girls are older now and have homework and more things going on at their school that has been wearing me out. It may be a little of all the above, but I know that my Sabbath rest has been out of whack this year. Reading this book has been a game changer for me. I am learning how to get myself more organized to be able to rest. I have learned that in order to truly take a day off, it must be a priority. I have also learned that with God, we can do more in 6 days than we can do without Him in 7.

If you want to pick up your own copy you can enter to win a copy here. If you can’t wait for the results of the giveaway, you order them here. You can also save 25% by entering the code TAKEOFF.

If you ever wondered about all of these book, video, and game reviews that I have done and wanted to possibly do some of your own, now is your chance. One of the companies that I work with is looking for more people to do reviews. You can find out more about the FaithWords Book Club here and join for free.

Take the Challenge

/ bekoepke / 1 Comment

November is often the time of year that people start gearing up for the holidays. Social media often blows up with daily posts of things you are thankful for or countdowns to Thanksgiving or Christmas. It is the time of year that often gets pretty busy. Between school programs, church activities, and family get togethers, we can find ourselves overwhelmed and exhausted. It is also the time of year that things that should bring us joy, often bog us down, cause frustration, or even depression. You find that you can’t please everyone, so your attitude may not be great toward the very people you love enough to try to please.

Maybe this blog post is just for me, however, I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many of you that deal with the same thing I do. There are several of us who find that the magic and joy of the holiday season can sometimes be snuffed out when there are too many things demanded of us. Sure, we love the joy of the holidays and the smiles on our kids’ faces, but we also think about the amount of energy required to clean up that house, shop for the groceries, cook all the needed food, and travel to all the destinations. We also think about the mess after all the fun happens. It can be overwhelming for a busy mom. It can steal our gratitude and joy.

I absolutely don’t have the answers today. Instead, I have a challenge. One of the recurring themes in my current life has been Sabbath rest. I wrote a blog a little while ago dealing with what that means (you can read it here). I have been challenging myself to be better about taking true Sabbath rest. However, I want to add a little bit to that challenge for all of us from now until the New year. Let’s make a goal of focusing on what we are grateful for during that Sabbath time. Maybe that means writing things down, or maybe sending a note to someone. Possibly being grateful could just be making a conscience decision to not complain. Whatever it is, commit to doing that thing for the next month and a half.

There are so many scientific studies that have proven the health benefits of gratitude and positivity. Some of these include better sleep, lower anxiety, increased mood, less feeling of burnout, just to name of few (here is a great article about health benefits). There is also a lot of brain research that shows that when we are grateful, our brain gets a flood of dopamine, that feel good hormone that so many of us nursing moms would experience when we had newborns.

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So, what’s your plan? How are you going to attack this gratitude thing? I think I am going to do a combination of writing down things I am grateful for, along with maybe writing a few well overdue thank you notes. If you have other amazing ideas I would love to hear them! Maybe I will try those out too!

Thank you to everyone who reads these blogs! I pray that the message will be received on fertile soil and that we can all grow in this area together! Let me know what you plan on doing to increase your gratitude.

In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Time For A Break!!!

/ bekoepke / 1 Comment

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We live in a crazy world. Our lives in the United States are lived at a fast pace and sometimes we just can’t keep up. As a mom, I struggle with this. I struggle balancing our fast-paced lives with slowing down enough to enjoy the moments. When I am stressed out I often find it easy to snap at my husband or my kids. I also find it easy to wish that my kids were just a little older, or wish it was a different phase of life. When I find myself doing that, it is an obvious sign that things are out of balance.

I recently heard someone say that marriage teaches you how selfish you are, while having kids teaches you how angry you can be. Such a true statement. Those selfish, angry parts often come out during those stressed out times of life.  When your emotional tank is empty and you are exhausted from a full day of working or keeping a household going, it’s easy to fall into frustration and take that frustration out on the people closest to you.

There has been a theme lately in the teachings I have been listening to and the books I have been reading, about the importance of rest in our lives. Specifically the importance of Sabbath rest. The 4th commandment is the one that addresses the Sabbath:

8 “Remember the Sabbath (seventh) day to keep it holy (set apart, dedicated to God). 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath [a day of rest dedicated] to the Lord your God; on that day you shall not do any work, you or your son, or your daughter, or your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock or the temporary resident (foreigner) who stays within your [city] gates. 11 For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea and everything that is in them, and He rested (ceased) on the seventh day. That is why the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy [that is, set it apart for His purposes]. Exodus 20:8-11 Amplified Version.

The ironic thing about the 10 Commandments is that we, as Christians, tend to follow a 90% rule. We have no problem agreeing with the fact that we should not murder or lie or steal our neighbor’s wife. However, when it comes to the whole Sabbath thing, we tend to think that it is an “old covenant” concept and isn’t for today or we simply don’t realize how important it is to God. Do you realize that this commandment is the longest of all ten and goes into the most detail about how exactly to follow it? It is also one of only 4 of the 10 commandments that carried the option of the death penalty if it was violated (the others being murder, adultery, and chronic child rebellion). Now, before I go any further, I want to make it clear that legalism is 100% not the answer. Even Jesus himself rebuked legalism when it comes to the Sabbath (see Mark 2:23-27).

The idea of Sabbath is made for us. It is for our benefit. God saw such importance in the concept of the Sabbath that he started the whole thing at the creation (see Genesis 2). He is God, He didn’t need to rest, but He chose to rest. He chose to pause and just enjoy His creation. The same is true of us. He could have created us not to need rest, however, our bodies require rest. We are not created to operate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is incredibly hard to even hear from God if we do not have real rest on a regular basis. I know even in my own life, digging into scripture is exceptionally hard to do when I am physically or mentally exhausted. I’m sure you are probably the same way.

   Sometimes we need to remove ourselves temporarily from the hustle of our lives to re-center ourselves on what is really important. Jesus did it all the time. He spent so much of his time ministering that sometimes he would just remove himself and go off to pray. How many of us do that? For so many of us, even our vacations have an agenda. We feel like we are lazy or wasting time if we don’t have every second of our lives filled. Whether it is our jobs, our kids’ activities, or even things like ministry, we fill every moment. Maybe we all need to step back and just rest. Jesus himself told us to come to him when we are burdened and heavy laden, and he will give us rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

    For God to have put the Sabbath into the 10 commandments, He knew that we desperately needed it. He knew that giving it as a suggestion was not going to work. It had to be a part of His top 10. Sadly, even the Israelites who received these laws after watching Moses on the mountain top had a hard time with this one. For the Israelites, and for us, it often is due to a lack of faith that everything will be okay if we just take a break.

   I am just going to be honest and say that sometimes for me it is a combination of a lack of preparedness or even a lack of proper boundaries. For instance, If I don’t get everything done I wanted to on Saturday, it often flows into Sunday. Or I sometimes find myself doing my school work on a Sunday afternoon or responding to work related emails because I have not established those boundaries in my own life. We feel awkward if we tell someone to not expect a response on a Sunday. 

   Now, back to legalism; I DO NOT think we need to be legalistic about this. If that was the case, I would say that we need to honor the traditional Jewish Sabbath that starts at sundown Friday and ends at sundown Saturday. Honestly I don’t think that the day of the week matters as long as we honor 1 day out of 7. Maybe you have a job where you do work on Sunday but have days off at other points of the week. Have a Tuesday Sabbath! We live under grace, but I do believe that the closer we are following what God has ordained, the more of a full life we will live.

I hope that this coming week you will have the opportunity to take a true Sabbath and really enjoy the blessing of a day of rest!