self care

The One

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I have noticed something lately that seems to be a theme all throughout scripture, but especially in the gospels. That theme is that God is always seeking out the individual. From the beginning, He chose to have a relationship with Adam, and then a little later with Eve. He sought out Noah, Joseph, Daniel, Moses, and David, just to name a few.

Sometimes, if you are anything like me, you might think of yourself as just a face in the crowd. Why would an all powerful, all knowing God, care about little, insignificant me? Oh, how wrong we are when we think of ourselves in that way. Think of some of the most impactful sermons you have heard. Often, those sermons are related to people who would have been thought of as lower class and worthless in the day that they lived in. For example, I have learned so many things from Joseph. He was a very insignificant person in his culture. He was the 11th out of 12 sons. He became a slave and a prisoner, even in our world those two things alone are enough to disqualify him in many of our circles of influence. Yet, God used him for mighty things (See starting in Genesis 37). Another person who was an outcast was the woman with the issue of blood. This woman wanted to remain anonymous, but Jesus wanted her faith to be known. This is a go-to story at women’s retreats everywhere. We all want that kind of faith. Her story is only a couple of verses and happens within the midst of another miracle but it is in 3 of the 4 gospels. (See Matthew 9:20-24, Mark 5:25-34, or Luke 8:43-48). We all know the parable of the lost sheep (See Matthew 18:10-14 or Luke 15:3-7). How many books, songs, and sermons have been penned around this parable? In that parable we are the sheep. It demonstrates how God (the shepherd) is willing to come after the one who has gone astray.

Those are just a couple of examples where God is willing to use people who are less than desirable or who have been lost, for His kingdom. Why are we any different? As an individual, we may not change the entire world, but maybe we can change the world for one person. As a teacher, that thought helps me through the hard days. Those days when I have fought culture in the form of cell phones, earbuds, distractions, defiance, laziness, or any other myriad of things a teenager may throw my way, I try to remember that. Maybe my entire job that day is simply to show that I can be loving when I don’t want to be. Maybe the same is true for you. Perhaps you aren’t called to be Billy Graham or Mother Teresa, but you are called to love your neighbors and pray for your enemies.

 “What is the price of five sparrows—two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them.  And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” Luke 12:6-7 NLT

We are not a face in the crowd to God. He has us exactly who we are, where we are, and exactly when we are, for a purpose. Our job is to seek out that purpose. We are not to be victims of our circumstance or waller in self pity from our past mistakes. Instead, we are to step out every single day seeking out what it is God has for us. I love how it is put in Esther 4:14 “If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” God will do His work, whether it is with you or without you. However, He has invited us in to be a part of it. Who knows what if you were made ___________________ for such a time as this?

Build a Monument

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Ancient Israelites didn’t always do everything right (remember that whole 40 years they took to make an 11 day journey thing). However, one thing they did do over and over very well was to remember and celebrate what God had done for them. Throughout the pages of scripture, there are feasts and celebrations to commemorate various things that God had done for His people. I love the idea of feasts, but there is something that was done that I love even more.

Time and time again, whenever the Israelites had overcome something because of God’s divine help, they would often build a monument or a memorial to always remember what had occurred and how God had helped them. When the Israelites crossed into the promised land, the first thing they did was get 12 stones to represent the 12 tribes and build a monument to remember what God had done for them (see Joshua 4). There are numerous other instances throughout scripture of people building a monument at a place where they had seen God do a miraculous thing. Jacob put up a stone monument on several occasions in Genesis. Now, these monuments weren’t necessarily huge or elaborate as we may imagine when we think of modern-day monuments in our world. No, often these would be simple and made of a stone or several stones that were placed in strategic places to remind the people who were doing it of the miraculous work God had done in their lives.

My favorite mention of a stone monument is the concept of an Ebenezer stone in 1 Samuel, right after the Lord had helped rescue the Israelites from the Philistines. “Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer (which means “the stone of help”), for he said, “Up to this point the Lord has helped us!” 1 Samuel 7:12 NLT. I love that concept! I think we all need a few Ebenezer stones of help in our life to help us to see how “up to this point the Lord has helped us”.

I just recently crossed the 12 year anniversary of a life-changing time in my life where I lost a job and found myself in the middle of many course corrections that have led me where I am today (if you don’t know the story you can read about it in some of my older blogs or in my book here). As I thought back to where I was and where I am now, this concept of an Ebenezer stone came to my mind. My Ebenezer is not a stone monument I built, rather, it is two buildings that I used to work at. Every single time I see those places I can’t help but smile and remember how far I have come and how much my life has changed. When I feel discouraged or frustrated in my current circumstances (which can happen as an educator in the Covid era), I think about those Ebenezers in my own life and just thank God for all He has done for me and all he is doing for me, whether I know it or not.

One of the “Ebenezer Stones” in my life. Every single time I see this place, I remember all God has brought me through

So I want to challenge you. What is your Ebenezer? Is there a place or time that you know that “up to this point the Lord has helped me”. Take some time to think about that concept and find a way to acknowledge that and thank God for all he has done in your life.

Tough Days

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Frazzled Mom Cartoon Clipart | Tired mom, Frazzled mom, Busy mom

We are living in a very strange time right now. I have to admit, I am a little bit of a hermit in my normal life (as much as is possible as a public school teacher surrounded by people all day). I cherish the moments I get alone with no one demanding of me, whether it is a high schooler needing help on a math problem, or my own 3 children. However, this is different. This “social distancing” isolation thing is not the same as me shutting my classroom door during the lunch period to get work done and have a few moments alone to listen to my podcasts. No, this world that we are in proves what God himself said in the very beginning, “It is not good (beneficial) for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper [one who balances him- a counterpart who is] suitable and complementary for him.” Genesis 2:18 AMP

As humans, we need each other. We thrive when we are together and able to interact. On the other hand, when we are alone we tend to struggle. That is when depression and discouragement take hold. We need others to build us up.

Today was one of those tough days for me. I am fortunately not alone in my “social distancing”, I have my husband and 3 girls who keep me on my toes. However, I do miss the “outside” world. I miss my rare date nights going out with my husband. I miss having coworkers to talk to and joke around with without staring at a computer screen to do it. I miss going to the grocery store without feeling like you are in a war zone because everyone around you is wearing masks.

Today was one of those days where I looked around the house that I have cleaned 3 or 4 times already this week that looks like an explosion of crumbs, toys, shoes, and dirty laundry…again. It was a day that I have already done two loads of dishes, and probably need to do another. Today was a day where I should have been at church hugging friends and instead, I was stuck in the messy house staring at a screen pretending like it is the same thing. We all know it isn’t.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for the technology we do have to be able to interact virtually. As a matter of fact, I have loved getting to “attend” other churches in neighboring towns because of the fact that everyone is now live streaming their services. I have really enjoyed that. I also appreciate that I have the means to text or call someone. But like I said, it’s not the same.

So what’s the solution?

I have no idea. To be honest with you, I am only writing this because I felt like I am probably not the only one feeling the same way. I think that we all now realize how much we have taken human interaction for granted. I never valued the interruptions I had when I was trying to get work done at school like I do now. I also never valued how good it felt to go to a grocery store or restaurant without feeling like I may just be swimming in a sea of germs (even though we always have been, just never thought about it).

If nothing else, I hope that we all come out of this appreciating each other a little bit more. I know that even though my kiddos are messy, I do appreciate the fact that I get to experience more little moments with them, like today when my sweet 4 year old finally mastered pedalling a bike. I have also loved seeing them learn more about reptiles because of the lizard, horny toad, and frogs they have found while playing outside. There are definitely blessings coming out of this pandemic.

My prayer right now is for every lonely person whether they are surrounded by family or don’t have anyone else around. I pray for the depressed and the discouraged. Know that even in your loneliest moment, God is there.

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Giveaway Time!

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

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During the last financial crisis, in 2009, I was laid off from my job. It was a scary time for me and my husband. It’s hard to explain the emotions you go through.

Now we are in a whole new era with a different kind of crisis. So many have once again been laid off or furloughed from their jobs. There is a lot of uncertainty. Because of that, I want to give away 5 copies of the book I wrote born out of my own time of crisis, Finding God in the Wilderness: Learning to Trust God During Times of Uncertainty.

Entering is easy, simply comment on this post for yourself or tell me about a friend who you would like to enter (you can definitely do both). Please share this post on your social media as well!.

I will pick 5 winners on my wedding anniversary, April 28th.

If you just can’t wait until then, you can order a copy here.

 

Time to Step it Up

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

Best Friends Forever Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images ...

Ladies, this one is for you. I have something on my mind, and have for a little while, it’s time to share it: We have got to do better!!!

Let me explain.

I want to flash back to junior high and high school for a minute. I remember back in those days so often preferring to hang out with “the guys” simply because girls can be so cruel. One minute we were best friends, and the next there was drama for one reason or another. I have already started seeing this happen with my second grade daughter. It’s heartbreaking when she comes home from school telling me that someone was mean to her and she was left out of a game on the playground.

I’m not sure what it is about females that causes us to be insecure, competitive, and sometimes downright mean. This shouldn’t be! After all, we are the nurturers. We should naturally be protective and encouraging of each other. We should believe the best about each other, unfortunately it is often just the opposite.

I absolutely love the story of Jonathan and David in 1 Samuel. Their friendship was unrivaled. It says in 1 Samuel 18:3 “Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” Wow! Sign me up for that kind of friendship. I was re-reading the story of David and Jonathan the other night and I just couldn’t get over the selfless love they had for each other. They built each other up and encouraged each other, even though for Jonathan, it meant risking everything.

I have to admit, I am slightly jealous of my husband. He has never had a shortage of good friends. The thing about men, especially confident guys like my husband and most of the men he calls good friends, is they can just be relaxed and be themselves without comparison, judgement, or feeling like they have to portray themselves a certain way. I have some great female friends, but I can honestly say it has been years since I have had anything close to a “Jonathan/David” type of friendship. It seems like the older I get, the longer it takes us girls to tear down the walls between each other.

So what’s a girl to do? I want to issue a challenge that I myself have been try to do. I want to challenge every single woman who is reading this to go out of your way to encourage another woman. Whether that means speaking an encouraging word to someone, supporting a startup business, or even taking a younger woman under your wing, just do it! Be the friend that you want others to be to you! Use the idea of the golden rule: treat other women the way you want to be treated. Give the women you work with and do life with the benefit of the doubt.

When my husband and I first moved into the town where we live, 13 years ago, we had several couples in our church who took us in. We had no family in town, and really didn’t know anyone, but the people who poured into us then made so much of a difference. Be that person. Be the friend you wish others would be to you. Be the person to welcome someone new. Be the one to believe the best. Be the person to spread good news, and not rumors. Be the one to encourage another woman when she is trying something new. Be the one to build another woman up!!!

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Every Rose Has It’s Thorns

/ bekoepke / 1 Comment

Image result for I thank thee for the roses, help me to thank thee for the thorns

If you have read very much of my writing, you will likely know that one of my biggest pet peeves is ungratefulness. It drives me absolutely insane when people don’t say thank you when someone does something for them, goes out of their way to help them, or perhaps when they have been given a gift. Although it is a challenge a lot of the time, I am trying very hard to teach my girls to always say thank you (not always successfully, I might add), and I think that adults should do the same. That being said, my own hypocrisy kicks in sometimes and I don’t always thank people when I should. Toward the end of last year I made a goal of trying to be more thankful. I thought I would give a little update on how that has been going.

Rejoice always, pray continually,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  I Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV

That verse has always been a little convicting to me. Always, continually, and in all circumstances. That’s a lot. Especially the part about giving thanks in all circumstances. I want so badly to edit that one word and change it to give thanks in good circumstances. This has been a tough school year so far in my household. I have a group of students that seem to struggle a little more than most years with being able to pass tests, which is creating a little extra stress in my world trying to find creative ways to get through to them. My girls are getting older and have more going on as far as homework and school activities, which is keeping us a little busier. My husband is a principal, and he has dealt with some challenging situations of his own throughout the year. When we are deep in the trenches of everyday life, that whole concept of give thanks in all circumstances can be pretty tough. It’s tough to say thanks when things are going wrong.

However, in the same way I get irritated when people are ungrateful, how much more must God get frustrated when we aren’t thankful. King David probably didn’t feel much like thanking God for the lion or the bear attacking his sheep, but those battles are exactly what prepared him for the battle against Goliath. What if these frustrating moments are the exact things we should be giving thanks for?

I have tried to make a point to thank the people in my life that I really felt compelled to thank. Over the last 2 months I have written several thank you notes that were probably way overdue. As I write this, I remembered one other person who really needs to be thanked for their hard work (I will make sure that happens this week). As I think about how to carry this challenge forward, I can’t help but think about how easy it is for me to say thank you when something is benefitting me, but when it is flipped and things are not going as planned, I have such a hard time being grateful. So that is where I am going to try and focus going forward. I want to be better at giving thanks in all circumstances.

George Matheson once said in one of his more well-know sermons, “My God, I have never thanked Thee for my thorn. I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but not once for my thorn.” I have that same problem. I can be so thankful for the blessings, but have a hard time being thankful during life’s frustrations. Lord, help me to thank thee for my thorn!

When I started writing my book Finding God in the Wilderness, I was able to look back and see how those thorny situations that felt like a wilderness, were really leading me to the next phase of promised land. Looking back, it is often easier to see the blessings in the challenges. I don’t want to have to wait though. I want to learn how to be more thankful during the challenge. I want to walk into my classroom and thank God for giving me the students that He did. I want to wake up every morning thanking God for strong willed girls. I want to know that anything I go though is growing me into the person God is calling me to be.

Let’s all start this new year learning more every day how to “thank Thee for the thorns”.

 

 

As A Gentle Whisper

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

As a teacher of mostly 9th graders, I see every single day how much the creativity of people can be harmed by this instant gratitude, always entertained world we live in. Let’s just be honest, we are all guilty of this from time to time. Almost everyone has an entertainment system that they carry in their pocket, purse, or backpack at all times; the cell phone. Take a look around at practically any waiting room, restaurant, or even stoplight, and you will see grown humans grabbing for that phone and constantly having to be entertained. I am not innocent, and likely you aren’t either.

I have always tried to be careful to not allow too much technology into my girls’ world too soon, but I also don’t want to shelter them so that they don’t know how to use it. As a momma, this can be a very difficult thing to balance. I have never been the mom to just hand off my phone to keep my kids quiet. As a matter of fact, I never have, don’t even have kid’s games loaded on it. On the other hand, my eldest daughter does know how to turn on her cartoons and find movies on our television. It is such a hard balance. We have given in recently to the benefits of apps and websites for reading and math remediation for our girls, and do appreciate the things they are learning. However, when I see kids in my classes texting on smart watches and staring down at the phone “hidden” in their laps, or, like one creative student, in their pencil bag that they can see through to text or snapchat, I want to make sure my kids aren’t addicted to it. I want them to find meaningful real-life relationships. I also want them to find their value in knowing who they are in Christ, not because of social media likes.

I love seeing the imaginations of my girls when I force them to entertain themselves. I honestly think that it is becoming a lost art. We as a society are so afraid of, or maybe just opposed to, being bored. Boredom brings out such a creative part in kids (and adults) though, that I think they need to experience it.

Today is a perfect example of the benefits of boredom. We are at the tail end of Thanksgiving break and the wind was insane today. So, we decided to take our girls to go see a movie and a late lunch. When we returned home they wanted to turn on cartoons and we told them that they had just watched a movie so they needed to go play. I sat down to work on some school work that I have been putting off all week, and all 3 of them sat down at the table with me and with notebook paper, tape, and colored pencils, they created “books” telling the story of their day. When they finished that, they ran off to their rooms and started an epic princess saga that is still going even 2 hours after they have been told to go to bed. It is amazing what they come up with when they are left to their own devices.

I think that we are the same way. If we could just turn off the noise, imagine what we might come up with! Sabbath rest has been a theme for me lately. Thanksgiving break has been an amazing time of refreshing and recharging for me this year. I know that when I do turn off all the noise, that I can hear from God in a much more real way. I also know that when I take the time to take a break from constantly having to be entertained, I am so much more creative and better able to function during those busy times. As we inch our way to the new year, I want to slow down and quit allowing myself to get so distracted on what my goals and passions are. We need to remember that the presence of God comes as a whisper. You can’t hear a whisper when you are surrounded by noise.”

“The Lord said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.’ Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.” 1 King 19:11-13 NIV emphasis added

A Dozen Years Later…

/ bekoepke

I am going to take a moment and brag on my husband for a little while. I blog a lot about my kiddos, motherhood, and faith, but I don’t blog a whole lot about my husband. He really is an amazing man, so I thought it was about time to share a little about him as well as a bit of our backstory.

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Just as a little background, we grew up 19 miles apart. Our lives were intertwined in so many ways, but we never actually met until we were 3 hours and a state away from home in college at the University of Wyoming (Go Pokes!!!). We met for the first time briefly during my Junior year of college. I didn’t cross paths with him again until the next school year when we were reintroduced on the university shotgun team (oh yeah, I don’t know if I ever mentioned how much I love to shoot). I looked forward to each week when we would go shoot, because he often had to buy me a meal afterward when he lost a bet thinking he could out shoot me.

We loved shooting on our university shotgun team!

Fast forward a few months and I awkwardly asked him if he would take me to my sorority formal over email, because I had no other way of contacting him. I wasn’t even sure if he actually checked his emails because at that time email was something you might look at once a week. Much to my surprise, he called me within the hour and said he would go. Being a good guy, he asked me if he could take me out to dinner the night before the formal. I found out much later that he had been half-heartedly dating another girl in my sorority, and when he got my email he immediately broke off that relationship (that may, or may not have caused a bit of drama within the sorority over the next few months).

All dressed up for my sorority formal

From that first date on, we were absolutely inseparable and the best of friends. The thing that I appreciated and respected so much about him was how honest he was, he was never fake with me. He didn’t try to act like someone he wasn’t. He is still that way. Love him or hate him, people cannot argue with the fact that he is one of the most honest people you will ever meet. Six months after we graduated we were engaged, five months after that we were married. We have now been married for about 12 1/2 years. I have learned so much in that time, I thought I would share some of what I have learned so far.

Something that is vital and that has not ever changed, is the foundation of our relationship. Before we even started dating, we had a very long conversation about our faith and our end goals. I made it very clear to him that I was not like most girls, and that at the stage of life we were both in, I wasn’t interested in just dating to date, after all, I was just about to enter my final semester of my senior year of college. We made a priority of our faith and that has been such a blessing over the years. It has been especially important during the difficult times.

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Our Engagement Photo

When the newlywed stage wears off and real life hits, that foundation is paramount. Faith is all you really have when you hit hard times like job layoffs, tight finances, or just simple exhaustion during the throws of raising children. I can’t imagine trying to raise our children together, if our faith was not the same. I also can’t imagine getting through some of the tough times we have been through without our faith. There have been so many times that all we could do was press in and pray together that God would guide our path. I thank God that we are able to do that together. I am also so thankful that finding someone who shared my faith was always a non-negotiable for me, even as a teenager. As I think back, it took a lot of nerve for me, on our first real date, to lay it all out there and tell him exactly where I was in my faith and that I was not willing to date someone I couldn’t share that with. However, I am so glad I did. I never had to be fake with him. I could be, and still can be, exactly who God made me to be without fear of him not appreciating me following my God-given dreams. I pray all three of my girls will find that same kind of foundation in the young men that they choose to marry someday.

Secondary to being on the same page in our faith, flexibility is extremely important. I remember when we first got married and all the “plans” we made. The 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year plans. None of it has happened exactly like we planned, however, we keep dreaming together. Every decision or investment that we have made has been a group effort, but we have had to learn that it is okay for plans to change. Jobs, have changed, living situations have changed, our family has grown, and we have gotten older. One thing that has never changed, regardless of the season of life we are in is that we make flexible goals together.

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My dear husband is now the Principal of a K-12 school, so we still get to go to prom!

As we have gotten older, we have really been able to have fun with that. We no longer make hard goals with strict deadlines that will likely never happen like we planned. Instead, we changed our plans and goals into dreams. We dream together of what can be. We talk about what steps we can take to make those dreams come true. Now, don’t get me wrong, all of our dreams are not exactly the same. He and I both have separate dreams that have yet to come true. But we are able, through the process, to try our best to support each other in the pursuit of our dreams, in hopes that one day soon, those dreams will actually come to fruition.

Humor is the final piece of the puzzle I want to address. I honestly don’t know how anyone can stay married without it. There is something so valuable about being able to laugh together. My husband has always been the funny guy, and I love that. Even when I am fuming mad, he is always able to bring a little humor in to defuse the situation. In his current job as Principal, he has to be able to laugh, or he might just cry when he has to deal with some of the things that comes across his desk. When life gets hard and you are in the middle of the stinking dirty here and now, that isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, you must be able to smile together.

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Always the funny guy, we had a blast representing our team at the national shooting competition!

I don’t want you to think that every moment of every day is a perfect cinderella story. We have our fair share of frustrations, exhausting moments, and struggles. We fight and gripe at each other. We come to points in our more heated discussions ,where we have to just agree to disagree. We are both stubborn, and strong willed. There are definitely clashes of the titans from time to time. Through it all though, those tough times have made us stronger as a couple.

Although it was fun, I would not want to go back to those newlywed days. I love where we are today. I am more comfortable in my own skin that I ever was when I first got married. The scars we have earned through the ups and downs in the last 12 1/2 years of marriage, and 14 years of relationship, have made us who we are today. I use to try so hard to please everyone, only succeeding in making myself miserable and pleasing no one along the way. Now, I realize that if I have to work hard to please people, those people probably don’t really have my best interests at heart. If I have to convince someone to love, appreciate, or be proud of me, their opinion of me really shouldn’t impact how I live my life. Instead, I need to spend more of my energy pleasing God and following his plans for my future, not simply doing what I feel like others expect me to do.

I leave you with the verse we chose for our wedding. I still love this verse today, and think that we could all benefit from living this way.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

Our family sure has grown over the years!

Game Review: The Rank Game

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

I absolutely love to play games. Now that I am an adult, I don’t play them as much as I use to, but when I do I always have a good time. I was super excited when the opportunity to review a game came across my email feed. When I received it in the mail, even the wrapping was fun, with a sticker set up just like the game cards.

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I was pretty excited so I roped my husband to play it with me that night. The way the game works is pretty simple. Each card has a prompt and 4 options that one player will rank in order of their own preference. The other player, or players, try to guess the correct order. There is a point system so that after 10 rounds there will be a winner. It was a lot of fun to play. There are several categories of questions, and even options for expansion kits. I played a prototype game, so I had a small sampling of questions from each category. However, the actual game will include 150 different cards from all the different categories.

We had a lot of fun trying to figure out how each other would rank the cards. On one particular card, about swimwear, my husband wanted to make sure that it wasn’t going to get him in trouble. We had some good laughs over some of the cards, and actually learned a few things about each other that after 12 years of marriage, had never come up in conversation. Sadly, I lost by two points, but we did have a good time playing.

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I think that this would be a great game for a date night, family game night, or a group of friends. It worked for my husband and I to play with just the two of us, but there are also variations that you can play in a group.

To learn more about the game you can check it out at http://www.therankgame.com. You can also find out more about them on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter by searching for @therankgame. If you are interested in backing this grassroots game, go to their Kickstarter page here. If you would like to enter to win your own copy of the full game, you can enter here.

Paradigm Shift: A Challenge Update

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

Image result for grateful"

A few days ago, I shared a gratitude challenge (see my blog post Take the Challenge).  I thought I would give a little update on how it is going for me so far.

Soooo, you know the saying “easier said than done”? Yeah, that’s me. It is so easy to talk about putting gratitude into practice on a regular basis. Actually doing it is a completely different thing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have put some of the things into practice. For example, I did write a few thank you notes, and made a point to thank others for things they had done to help me.

Then Saturday hit.

It’s a funny thing, Saturdays. As a young 20-something newlywed with no kids, I looked forward to my Saturdays. Saturday meant I could sleep in, watch a movie, go on a date, and pretty much do whatever I wanted. Then we had three kids. Sleeping in is a thing of the past because I have kids who like to rise early. Saturdays now mean massive amounts of laundry, dishes, and catching up on housework all while trying to keep kids from making more of a mess or massively slowing me down with all their needs. The gratitude train got a bit derailed on Saturday. Actually, in the spirit of being completely honest, that train hit a cliff and burned completely to the ground. I allowed myself to enter into a pretty negative space mentally. I started internally (and to get real honest, externally too) grumbling and complaining about all that needed to be done. By the end of the day, I was a complete grump and ungrateful to the core. I ended up going to bed pretty early just because I was exhausted. Truth be told, that’s what I really needed anyways, because for about the last 2 weeks, my 3 year old has come in during the middle of the night pretty much every night and I had been a bit sleep deprived because of it.

Now, I didn’t really realize how ungrateful I was being until Sunday morning rolled around. My church participates each year in Operation Christmas Child and my family always packs 3 girl boxes (because I have 3 girls). When I was getting the boxes ready to bring to church, my girls were looking at everything and wanting all of it. My middle child started to really complain and pitched a fit about wanting what was in those boxes. This momma lost her cool. I was appalled at how my kids were acting. I explained to them that these boxes were going to little kids who didn’t get Christmas gifts. I told them that a lot of the kids that receive the boxes are extremely poor and may not even have enough food. I felt like such a failure as a mom because of the entitled way my kids were acting.

That’s when it hit me. I had the conviction come down on me like a flood. I am the one who has taught them to not appreciate what they have. It is little wonder that they grumble when they have to clean up all their toys, when I have been their model. There is little wonder why they don’t appreciate all they have, when I don’t always show that appreciation myself. I have to have a paradigm shift to see that even though I do have lots of laundry and dishes to do, I am blessed to live in a place where I have machines to do the hard work for me. I have to realize that even though my kids make lots of messes, I have healthy, active kids who love to play. I also have to remember that even though I do have a lot of housework to do on the weekends, I have a home and don’t have to worry about where I will sleep each night.

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Learning how to see the pile of laundry as a blessing!

So, I am adding to my challenge after this weekend. I want to model gratitude for my girls. I want to show them what it is like to be thankful. I’m really not sure how I will do it, but I do know that it is so important to me that my girls learn from a young age to be thankful for what they have been given I think I will start by being more thankful to them when they do things to help each other and me.

So my question to you is how do you train up your children to be grateful? I would love some ideas from people who, like me, are in the trenches, as well as those of you who have made it through parenthood and are on the other side.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17 NIV