comparison

Who are you, really?

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

I wrote this a few years ago but thought it was worth sharing again!

                It’s that time of year again, high school and college graduations are going on nearly every weekend in May and into June. This time of year, I always think back to when I was about to graduate from high school and college, and how smart I was back then. Of course, I say that sarcastically, because looking back now I see how little I knew about life. It’s so easy in your teens, and early twenties to be so sure of your life’s path. We build our identities so much on what we do, who we know, and even what kind of clothes we wear or vehicle we drive.  However, none of those things are eternal. Jobs change, in both expected and unexpected ways, friendships definitely change, and material things go in and out of style and eventually end up worn out and tossed aside.

               So, who are you, really? If all the fancy clothes, “cool” friends, money, and talents were suddenly stripped away from you, what. would remain? Are you a person that does whatever it takes to fit in or be admired? Or perhaps are you willing to go into tremendous amounts of debt just to look the part of someone wealthy? Or maybe you are willing to compromise and “fudge” your beliefs a little at work or school because you don’t want to be called a prude? On the other hand, maybe you have a firm set of beliefs and are unwilling to compromise on those just to fit in with the world?

                Those are hard things to think about, because we have such an attachment to status. I know that when I first graduated college, my identity revolved so much around what I did that when I suddenly found out that my location was closing and I was being laid off, I was crushed. It was at that point that I really had to start figuring out who I was, beyond what I did or who I knew. I had to go back to Genesis and realize that I was formed in the very image of God and regardless of who I was or what I did to earn a living. I also had to remember that God had a plan for my life and He wasn’t surprised in the least about the fact that I was being laid off. “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 NLT.                At that point, my sincere hearts’ desire turned toward walking the path God Himself had laid out for me. I started praying more than I ever had before. I chose to put my focus on one thing: the approval of God Himself. That isn’t an easy task. In the materialistic world we live in, if you don’t run with the right crowd or have the fanciest house on the block, you can sometimes be looked down upon. Although having nice things is not a bad thing, letting those things own us is. It can also be challenging when you are not willing to bend on your morals, I have especially seen this as a teacher when kids are not use to being held to a high standard. It can be lonely at times when it feels like everyone else is just going along with the world. Whatever we do though, we need to focus on doing it as a witness of the gospel. “Work hard so you can present yourself to God and receive his approval. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 NLT. Whether you are a doctor or a garbage collector, that doesn’t really matter. Each one of us has a great commission from Christ to make disciples of ALL nations (See Matthew 28). We need to have an eternal focus in whatever it is we do for a living. We must have integrity, generosity, love, and honesty no matter what we do for a living. We also must be willing to stick to our morals and beliefs no matter who is trying to convince us to bend “just this once”.  I know that I have fallen short in so many of those areas. However, I pray constantly for God to use me to reach others.
                I pray for all my former students, friends, and relatives who are graduating that your focus would not be on the status of what you do, the money, how much stuff you have, or what others think of you. Rather, I pray that you would work every single day as if God Himself was your ultimate boss (Hint: ultimately, He is). Don’t become a fake person who changes depending on the people they are with. Be the person who, when others are going through a hard time and need a true and honest friend, they seek you out. Congratulations and best wishes to all of you! I can’t wait to see where your life’s journey will take you!

The Faith of a Mom

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment
Mother's Day 2021: 10 Fun Ways to Celebrate Mom | The Old Farmer's Almanac

As I write this, it’s currently Mother’s Day. Mother’s day always makes me pause and think of how I am doing in the realm of motherhood. As the mom of 3 young girls (ages 9, 6, and 5), I sometimes feel like a failure. I am not a typical “perfect mom”. I lose my temper, get frustrated, and I am not always bubbly and fun. I tried the stay-at-home mom thing, and only lasted a year. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, I just found that I was not cut out for it. I enjoy working outside the home. Honestly, even if I ran my own business, it would have to be outside the house, I am just more productive that way.

Mom guilt is a very real thing. I struggled with that for a while, and often still do. It seems like everyone is nailing the mom thing while I often feel like I am just surviving. I grew up on James Dobson and Focus on the Family where there is a strong push for moms to stay home and even homeschool, both things that I don’t do, and don’t plan on doing. There is nothing wrong with doing those things, however, it really just isn’t for me. It hit me today when I was reading a short passage in the Bible, that God will use a moms exactly where they are.

I was reading about when Paul first met Timothy. If you will remember, Timothy became one of Paul’s most trusted friends and vital in growing the early church. In Acts 16:1 it says “Paul came to Derbe and then to Lystra, where a disciple named Timothy lived, whose mother was Jewish and a believer but whose father was a Greek.” It may seem a little odd for this verse to stand out to me, but it really made me realize that God will use a believing mom no matter what the circumstance.

To me, it says a lot that Timothy became a believer, despite the fact that his father wasn’t one. It shows that his mother made a big impact on him. It also shows that you don’t have to have what may be perceived as the “perfect Christian family” in order to raise Godly children. As a matter of fact, him having a non-believer as a father may have even given Timothy a lot of insight into the way non-believers think. It also tells me that despite my failures as a mom, even if I don’t always do everything perfectly, God has a tremendous plan for my kids. Paul even notes the faith of Timothy’s mother and grandmother. “I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.” 2 Timothy 1:5

So the next time you find yourself not measuring up as a mom (or even as a grandmother), turn off the social media, quit comparing, and remember that God will use you no matter how imperfect you may feel.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9