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Paradigm Shift: A Challenge Update

/ bekoepke / Leave a comment

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A few days ago, I shared a gratitude challenge (see my blog post Take the Challenge).  I thought I would give a little update on how it is going for me so far.

Soooo, you know the saying “easier said than done”? Yeah, that’s me. It is so easy to talk about putting gratitude into practice on a regular basis. Actually doing it is a completely different thing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have put some of the things into practice. For example, I did write a few thank you notes, and made a point to thank others for things they had done to help me.

Then Saturday hit.

It’s a funny thing, Saturdays. As a young 20-something newlywed with no kids, I looked forward to my Saturdays. Saturday meant I could sleep in, watch a movie, go on a date, and pretty much do whatever I wanted. Then we had three kids. Sleeping in is a thing of the past because I have kids who like to rise early. Saturdays now mean massive amounts of laundry, dishes, and catching up on housework all while trying to keep kids from making more of a mess or massively slowing me down with all their needs. The gratitude train got a bit derailed on Saturday. Actually, in the spirit of being completely honest, that train hit a cliff and burned completely to the ground. I allowed myself to enter into a pretty negative space mentally. I started internally (and to get real honest, externally too) grumbling and complaining about all that needed to be done. By the end of the day, I was a complete grump and ungrateful to the core. I ended up going to bed pretty early just because I was exhausted. Truth be told, that’s what I really needed anyways, because for about the last 2 weeks, my 3 year old has come in during the middle of the night pretty much every night and I had been a bit sleep deprived because of it.

Now, I didn’t really realize how ungrateful I was being until Sunday morning rolled around. My church participates each year in Operation Christmas Child and my family always packs 3 girl boxes (because I have 3 girls). When I was getting the boxes ready to bring to church, my girls were looking at everything and wanting all of it. My middle child started to really complain and pitched a fit about wanting what was in those boxes. This momma lost her cool. I was appalled at how my kids were acting. I explained to them that these boxes were going to little kids who didn’t get Christmas gifts. I told them that a lot of the kids that receive the boxes are extremely poor and may not even have enough food. I felt like such a failure as a mom because of the entitled way my kids were acting.

That’s when it hit me. I had the conviction come down on me like a flood. I am the one who has taught them to not appreciate what they have. It is little wonder that they grumble when they have to clean up all their toys, when I have been their model. There is little wonder why they don’t appreciate all they have, when I don’t always show that appreciation myself. I have to have a paradigm shift to see that even though I do have lots of laundry and dishes to do, I am blessed to live in a place where I have machines to do the hard work for me. I have to realize that even though my kids make lots of messes, I have healthy, active kids who love to play. I also have to remember that even though I do have a lot of housework to do on the weekends, I have a home and don’t have to worry about where I will sleep each night.

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Learning how to see the pile of laundry as a blessing!

So, I am adding to my challenge after this weekend. I want to model gratitude for my girls. I want to show them what it is like to be thankful. I’m really not sure how I will do it, but I do know that it is so important to me that my girls learn from a young age to be thankful for what they have been given I think I will start by being more thankful to them when they do things to help each other and me.

So my question to you is how do you train up your children to be grateful? I would love some ideas from people who, like me, are in the trenches, as well as those of you who have made it through parenthood and are on the other side.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17 NIV

 

Take the Challenge

/ bekoepke / 1 Comment

November is often the time of year that people start gearing up for the holidays. Social media often blows up with daily posts of things you are thankful for or countdowns to Thanksgiving or Christmas. It is the time of year that often gets pretty busy. Between school programs, church activities, and family get togethers, we can find ourselves overwhelmed and exhausted. It is also the time of year that things that should bring us joy, often bog us down, cause frustration, or even depression. You find that you can’t please everyone, so your attitude may not be great toward the very people you love enough to try to please.

Maybe this blog post is just for me, however, I have a sneaking suspicion that there are many of you that deal with the same thing I do. There are several of us who find that the magic and joy of the holiday season can sometimes be snuffed out when there are too many things demanded of us. Sure, we love the joy of the holidays and the smiles on our kids’ faces, but we also think about the amount of energy required to clean up that house, shop for the groceries, cook all the needed food, and travel to all the destinations. We also think about the mess after all the fun happens. It can be overwhelming for a busy mom. It can steal our gratitude and joy.

I absolutely don’t have the answers today. Instead, I have a challenge. One of the recurring themes in my current life has been Sabbath rest. I wrote a blog a little while ago dealing with what that means (you can read it here). I have been challenging myself to be better about taking true Sabbath rest. However, I want to add a little bit to that challenge for all of us from now until the New year. Let’s make a goal of focusing on what we are grateful for during that Sabbath time. Maybe that means writing things down, or maybe sending a note to someone. Possibly being grateful could just be making a conscience decision to not complain. Whatever it is, commit to doing that thing for the next month and a half.

There are so many scientific studies that have proven the health benefits of gratitude and positivity. Some of these include better sleep, lower anxiety, increased mood, less feeling of burnout, just to name of few (here is a great article about health benefits). There is also a lot of brain research that shows that when we are grateful, our brain gets a flood of dopamine, that feel good hormone that so many of us nursing moms would experience when we had newborns.

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So, what’s your plan? How are you going to attack this gratitude thing? I think I am going to do a combination of writing down things I am grateful for, along with maybe writing a few well overdue thank you notes. If you have other amazing ideas I would love to hear them! Maybe I will try those out too!

Thank you to everyone who reads these blogs! I pray that the message will be received on fertile soil and that we can all grow in this area together! Let me know what you plan on doing to increase your gratitude.

In every situation [no matter what the circumstances] be thankful and continually give thanks to God; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 Amplified Bible (AMP)